


The King's Favorite Pastime

by readersanonymous (fanficprince)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: (THIS IS A REAL TAG AND IM CRYING), F/M, Jon is your loyal protector, Mad King Michael, Mad King Ryan, Mad King!AU, Michael is a Little Shit, Minecraft!AU, also Meg is a concubine just fyi, he loves you a lot okay JUST LET IT HAPPEN, king!au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-06-03 13:16:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 26,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6612028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficprince/pseuds/readersanonymous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have been working under King Ryan for a while now. One of his head staff has just been executed, leaving you to take charge of a very important duty that brings you much closer to the king.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You woke up to a loud knock and a golden note slipped inside your room. You looked outside at the still dark sky. It wasn't dawn yet but a note has already come. 

You have been working in the Mad King’s castle for some time now but you have never received a golden note. You would get the occasional bronze note, which normally told you that there were guests coming and everything needed to be extra tidy in the guest rooms. You once got a silver note, but it was a less life-threatening one; the note told you that you were being moved from guest rooms to chamber of Knights. Golden notes were reserved for urgent business needed directly by the king. From what you've heard, they’re almost never good. Sometimes they even lead to executions. You can't think of anything you could've done to provoke King Ryan, except the occasional subconscious comment of calling him the Mad King. Could he hear your thoughts? 

You decide to pick up the note and accept your fate. You hold your breath and open the casing, pulling the royal parchment out.

_ Y/N, _

_ Due to an upsetting execution, you have been moved from the chamber of Knights to the King’s personal bedrooms. You will begin your training at dawn. Please meet me promptly in the west corridor.  _

_ Signed,  _

_ Geoff _

Your body involuntarily shivers. You remember that yesterday was the bimonthly execution day. The woman who was originally in charge of attending to the King’s bedrooms was caught stealing. From what you heard, it was a small ring that belong to one of the King’s many concubines. But that's just what happens when you don't follow the King’s rules. You die. 

You get dressed in your normal attire and look outside. The sun was beginning to rise so you decided it was time to leave. You feel slightly sad because you never got to say goodbye to the knights. They were always so kind to you whenever they stumble upon you cleaning their chambers. 

As you walk down the quiet halls, you can see Geoff in the distance. Geoff was the King’s personal assistant; he was practically second in command since he led the army of Knights while King Ryan dealt with politics and the needs of the people. Geoff gestures for you to walk faster so you start to pick up your pace until you are next to him.

“Y/N, I'm glad you got the message early and didn't keep me waiting,” he pats you on the head and opens the door to the bedrooms. 

“It’s nice seeing you again, Geoff.” Since you were in charge of cleaning the chamber of Knights, you of course also cleaned Geoff’s chambers, to which he was always grateful for. 

“Likewise, though I realize now someone else is going to be making my bed, which makes me sad. You always did a perfect job, Y/N. But the King needs someone like you right now, so I can't complain.” Geoff opens another door and you step in. The room was massive and you're left a little speechless. The chamber of Knights contained a various amount of rooms, all ranging for small to excessively large (like Geoff’s) but none compared to this room. 

“You will be thankful to hear that there is only two rooms you need to clean, unlike the 20+ you had in the chambers. But they look like this, so it's practically the same amount of work. Except now you have to pay attention to all the detail since the King is quite picky and will have your head if you mess up.” With that comment, Geoff pats you on the back. “Sorry, didn't mean it that way. He won't hurt you, unless you do something really bad. I gave him a pretty high recommendation of you so he’ll go easy.” 

You let out a sigh of relief and Geoff shows you around the room. After he points out the incredibly meticulous details you have to pay attention to, he finishes the training. 

“Well, that's pretty much all you need to know. Oh, be sure to remember that the King normally occupies the other room, since it holds his concubines as well. He leaves a short while after dawn and shows up a little bit after dusk, so that's the amount of time you have to clean both rooms. Also,” Geoff points to the door in the corner of the room, “that door is strictly off limits. You wouldn't be able to get in either way, but just thought I should warn you in case. Any other instructions will be given by the King directly as needed.”

You nod, “thank you Geoff. It was an honor assisting you and your Knights.” 

“I knew you were always my favorite,” Geoff pulls you in for a hug. “I promise the King won't hurt you. Thanks for keeping my sheets smelling sweet, despite all the alcohol I spill. I hope the next person is at least half as good as you are.” 

You smile and wave at Geoff as he leaves for an early meeting. When he shuts the door, you look at the covered windows. You pull open all the curtains, letting early morning sun roll in. Rolling up your sleeves, you start your work.

Geoff was not lying, it would take you the entire day to clean both rooms. It was noon by the time you finished the first room, to which you concluded was the King’s personal bedroom. You finished up the room and moved onto the next room. Out of common courtesy, you knock on the door. When there is no response, you slowly up the door. Geoff was completely right and both rooms were practically identical copies of each other. Except this room had its own personal corridor, with small rooms. Geoff had already warned you that those rooms were designated for the King’s concubines, who were in charge of keeping themselves tidy so you didn't have to worry about them. You hear a loud moan and glance at the corridor. Your face flushes in embarrassment and you begin to walk out when you hear someone.

“My King, is that you?” A voice echoes through the room. 

You finally start breathing again and respond, “sorry, the King must still be out. I’m just here to clean the room.” 

“So you’re the new maid,” the voice responds back to you. “I hope you last longer than the last one.”

“I hope so too.” You say back and start to work. After that sudden outburst, there wasn't another conversation. You worked in silence for the duration of the day until the sun began to set. You were scrubbing the King’s bathtub when a voice, the same one, called out to you. 

“Hey, maid-girl, you still there?”

“Yes, I'm here.” You rinse out the tub and finish the bathroom.

“What's your name?”

“Y/N.” As you step back into the room, the voice is louder and clearer.

“I’m Meg. I've got a question for you, Y/N. Why are you working here?”

You shrug and think of your response. It was always difficult talking to people in the castle. One wrong word and you could get your head sliced off. You thought about your words carefully and say, “The King needed someone to clean his rooms and I was recommended.” 

“That's not what I asked. I asked why are you working HERE, as in the castle. We’re all here for a reason.” 

Meg wasn't wrong. The people who worked in the castle were people who couldn't find work outside. Much like yourself, everyone in here needed a place to stay and food to eat, so it was the best option.

“I’m not from this kingdom. I fled from my home during the Great War. This was the safest place, so I came here and offered to work. I've been working here since the day I got to this kingdom.”

“So you're here for security? Interesting. I always like to ask the maids why they’re willing to do such labor intensive work and you’re the first to say because of security.”

“Well,” you gather your things and are about to leave but you stop yourself. “Why else would you be a maid?”

Meg laughs and starts to talk again, “that's the point. Why would you want to be a maid? Especially one to the King directly, like yourself. The maids before you all wanted to become concubines, like myself. I was once in your position and look at me now! Letting the King do whatever he wants with me is 100x better than what you're doing right now.” 

You shrug but you realize she can't see you so you have to figure out how to verbally shrug. “I like the security and I don't mind the work. The thought has never crossed my mind, sorry.”

“Hmm,” Meg says into the air. “This is the first time I might not have to give the speech.”

“What speech?” You ask abruptly, without thinking.

“The one I tell all the maids. The King doesn't like copycats; he already has a previous maid as a concubine, he doesn't need another one. But since it sounds like you've never even tried to talk to the King, I guess I can save my breath.”

“I guess so,” you grab your things. “The room is clean now so I will be leaving.”

Meg does not respond so you decide to just go without a goodbye. It felt weird to say anything else, since the whole conversation felt invasive. You made it back to your room, which had a small plate of sweets waiting for you. There was a red note, which meant from the Knights, on the plate. You open the note and smile. 

_ Y/N, _

_ The new girl is shit, we miss you. Hope your first day went well. Remember the drill. _

_ Signed, _

_ The Knights _

You couldn't help but grin at all the names signed at the bottom. It must've taken a collective effort to get this note to you unnoticed. You bit into a cookie and grabbed a small tin box where you kept your flint and steel. You quickly set the note on fire and place the note inside the box to burn away. Once it becomes ash, you pour the ash into a ceramic jar and place the flint and steel back. 

It's not like getting informal messages from the Knights would be bad but in case, Geoff always wants you to burn the notes just in case. “Just in case” is a frequently used phrase around the castle because anything can happen here and it was always best to be safe. 

The cookies are fantastic and they brighten your day. You think back to the strange conversation you had with Meg. 

“I suppose it makes sense,” you let out a large yawn. “This work is a little tiring, but it's rewarding.” 

If you didn't work hard, you wouldn't have the Knights’ friendship or the extra rations you get for doing the work by yourself. You glance over at your pantry, which had two loafs of bread and hearty helping of fruit and vegetables. On occasion, you spend your rations on meat, but this week you wanted more bread so you swapped. Before you knew it, you were asleep. 

The next few days were ordinary. Meg hasn't talked to you since the first day. You’re getting more efficient at cleaning. A week passes and you have yet to see the King. 

Until now. 


	2. Chapter 2

You had just finished cleaning the bathroom and were making the bed with the freshly dried sheets. The door opens forcefully and the King steps into the room, slamming the door behind him. 

“Is the bath clean?” His voice heavily tinted with anger.

You bow your head, “Yes, my King.”

“Run me a bath, now.” 

You nod and stop making the bed and rush yourself into the bathroom. You let the hot water rush into the tub and begin pouring in an assortment of bath salts and soaps. When the tub was full and the water felt tingly on the skin and smelt great, you walk back out to the King. The King is sitting on his couch, face in his hands. He hasn't noticed you walk back in so you decide to walk back into the bath and call him.

“My King, the bath is ready,” you say to him from the bathroom. “A change of clothes are hung in there as well.”

You step back out into the room and he is up and making his way to you. His eyes look directly at yours for a split second before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. 

You are able to go back to making the bed when a strong, “What the hell is this!” cuts through the room.

You run to the bathroom and knock on the door, “Is everything alright, my King?”

“Come in here and explain this.” 

You open the door slowly and see the King standing by the tub, still fully dressed. He is pointing directly at the water, which is a light pink shade. 

“I asked you to run a bath, not a potion concoction!” 

You bow before him and say, “I am deeply sorry for my inappropriate behavior. I thought you wanted a more relaxing bath so I added a few bath salts to the water. It was my mistake.” 

“Leave,” he then says. 

You get up and obey. Closing the door behind you, your heart beats out of your chest and you feel like you're on fire. 

You again go back to making the bed. Your mind is rattling because of your unconscious decision to add stuff to the bath. Who were you to judge how the King felt? When you finished making the bed, you went onto dusting his painting. You can hear the bathroom door open but you decide not to glance over at the King, who is probably still mad that you ruined his bath. 

A sudden “hey” from below you catches you out of nowhere and you stumble off the ladder. Preparing for a hard fall to the ground that you have suffered many times before, you are surprised to see that you were safely caught by the King. 

“My King!” You stumble out of his arms and back into your feet and bow in front of him. “I’m sorry that you had to catch me, I'll try to be less clumsy.”

You wait for a response from the King, who in turn, starts to laugh. The King finishes his light laughing fit and says, “you don't have to apologize. I was in the wrong, both times actually, so you have nothing to be sorry for. Please get up.”

You stand up and face the King, who looms over you with the sweet scent of raspberries. 

“I’m sorry for startling you. You must fall a lot, you barely flinched.” 

You scratch the back of your head and nod. The King looks at you, as if he is waiting for a verbal response so you say, “y-yes! I tend to fall a lot so it doesn't surprise me anymore.” 

“I suppose that's a good and bad thing.” His voice catches you by surprise. It is incredibly gentle compared to before. He continues to speak calmly to you, “I also want to apologize for earlier. It was the first time someone has added anything to my bath for me, normally I do it. My whole day has been a little off, so I got angry over nothing. Sorry for taking my anger out on you.” 

You wave your hands in front of you, “anytime, my King! I’m here to serve. It's part of my job.”

“I actually want to applaud you for your work, since this is the first time we’ve met. Geoff told me that your name was Y/N, so thank you Y/N, I've been sleeping a lot better because of you.”

You smile unconsciously and try to catch yourself before he notices, “thank you. I try my best.” 

“Keep it up,” the King says before heading out. Once he leaves, the room feels empty again. What a strange interaction. 


	3. Chapter 3

The next time you see the King is in almost the same situation. He forcefully enters the room, slamming the door behind him. Instead, this time he goes straight for the bathroom, not acknowledging that you're there. You’re a little phased, but you manage not to fall off the ladder this time. You climb down and head for the bathroom door but stop yourself. Should you even get involved? 

You let out a breath and turn away from the bathroom door and head to the furnace. You grab the pot of boiling water you had going and make a cup of tea. Taking that cup, you head back towards the bathroom door and knock.

“My King, are you alright?” You ask softly. “Would you like to talk with someone?” 

There is no response for a minute and then the door opens. He stand before you and his eyes are gloomy. 

“I’m sorry but,” You take his hand and place the cup of tea in it. “I hope it's okay that I made you some tea. It will make you feel better.” 

He looks at you for a few seconds, locking eyes with you. He then takes a sip of the tea and lets out a long sigh. 

“That's some good tea,” a soft smile tries to curl up on his face but it goes back to its gloomy state almost immediately. 

“If it is alright with you, can I try something? I promise it will help,” you honestly don't know why you've grown so confident when it came to talking to the King. Perhaps it was your strong sense of sympathy, it was difficult for you to see him like this. 

He nods and you take his other hand in yours. You take in a deep breath and gently blow air into his thumb. 

“This is suppose to help you destress. It’s a natural body relaxer, try it,” you move his thumb closer to his face. 

He looks at you skeptically for a few seconds and then begins to blow on his thumb. His face begins to lighten and he finishes his tea. 

The next moment really stunned you because you really didn't know how to react. 

The King’s arms were around you and he let out a heavy sigh. “Thank you for helping me. I get very angry sometimes and it's difficult for me to calm down.”

It felt so warm, being held by him. You respond, “I’m glad I could help.” 

The King pulls you out of the embrace to look at you. “Y/N.”

“Yes, my King?” 

“Don't hide your smile. You look nice when you smile,” his hand lightly cups your face. 

A light blush rises in your cheeks and you nod, “I’ll try not to hide it.” 

“Good,” he lets go of you and pats your head. “I need to go now, but thank you again.” 

“Anytime, my King.” 

When he leaves, you continue to work, but there is a strange urge to touch your cheek. The warmth of his hand still lingers. You shake your head and sigh. What just happened constantly replays in your head. You continue on with your work as usual. But today, Meg’s voice makes an appearance for the first time in weeks.

“So, you and the King must be getting along,” her voice cuts through your thoughts like an arrow. You decide not to respond, which produces another comment from Meg. “If you're wondering how I know this, it's because the King is a lot rougher when he's thinking too much.” 

Your face flushes a little at that comment. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“I'm not complaining,” Meg replies immediately back. “I just know it's because of you. You must actually think he cares about you if you're acting all nice to him without seeking anything in return.”

You let out a quiet sigh and shake your head again, knowing she can't see you. Way to state the obvious. 

“So why do you act nice to him? Do you pity him?” 

Again, you decide not to respond. 

“You know, he really does have an anger problem. It gets pretty brutal sometimes, like bloody brutal. And you realize you’re being kind to that, right?”

“Why does it matter if I'm nice to him? He is our King. We must treat him with the utmost respect.”

Meg laughs, “you mean, you do. I don't have any respect for him, and he doesn't have any respect for me. And if you think he has any respect for you, you're just shitting yourself love. Stop wasting your time being nice to him, just do your job and leave.” 

You answer that by shutting the door a little louder than usual when you leave. 

As you eat your bread and fruit, you think about what Meg said. 

“She's not lying,” you lean back on your bed. “Why am I nice to him?”

You eat your dinner with all these thoughts rumbling in your mind and are startled by the sudden knock on the door and the golden note on the ground. 

You open the note and read it.

_ Y/N, _

_ Your services are needed. Come quickly. _

_ Signed, _

_ King Ryan  _


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LET THE SMUT ROLL IN! ((also warning about mentions of scars))

Walking towards the King’s chambers, your heart starts to beat rapidly. You don't remember missing any spots while dusting. Perhaps he wanted to reevaluate your relationship with him. Your stunt with him this afternoon was much too personal for a king and his maid. The thoughts ramble on and on in your head and before you realize it, you’re at the King’s door. You knock, but instead of a sound coming out, the door slides open slowly. 

“My king?” You say, as you slip quietly into the room. The King is standing, staring out his window as the moonlight shines on him. 

“Please, close the door.” His voice is commanding, but still soft. You hold your breath and close the door, trying to keep yourself at bay. Once the door clicks, the King turns to face you, his brilliant eyes looking right into yours. Your body is left unable to move as he approaches you.

When he is inches from you, you bow and breath out the words you were dreading to ask. “Why have you summoned me? I’m sorry if I did anything that may have offended you, my king.”

Your eyes look at the ground, which are soon consumed by the King’s boots. You can't bring yourself to look up, but it seems like the King has realized this. His hand lifts your face so that your eyes meet and his lips meet yours. The kiss that fell onto your lips tasted like sweet wine and when his lips left yours, he smiles. 

“Originally, I called you here to apologize for the way Meg treated you. But I suppose now,” he brushes your hair out of your face, “I’ve called you here for another reason.” 

You face away and speak, “it is unlike me to refuse a king’s wishes, but I can assure you that there is nothing I can do that can remotely compare to the women you have in the next room over.” 

“Well then,” his hand caresses your face again, pulling you back to looking at him. “I suppose I should clarify what I want. I’m not looking for another concubine.”

“Then what are you looking for?” Your mind is going wild. Why were you questioning the King! What has gotten into you! What were you expecting him to say? The words are involuntarily falling out of your mouth and as much as you resist, they just come out.

“I’m looking for someone like you. Someone who still looks at me with innocent eyes, someone who doesn't think I’m a monster yet,” now it is the King’s turn to look away. He lets you go and walks across the room, standing by the window again. He looks back at you and says, “Why do you care about me? Don't you know who I am? I’m the Mad King. I trap people in holes, I kill for fun and my people fear me. How can you look at me with those innocent eyes?”

You search for the words, but they don't come to you. It felt like some other force was controlling your body because you started to walk towards the King. When you were close enough to him, the words fell out of your mouth again. 

“Because I'm not afraid of you,” you stand in front of him, bathing in the moonlight. “For once in my life, I feel safe somewhere. So how can I be afraid of someone who has been keeping me alive? I owe you my life. If it wasn't for your kingdom, I would surely be dead.” 

The King stands, still avoiding your gaze and not speaking. You let out another breath and speak again, “Meg asked me why I'm here. I told her because it was the safest place to be. So, you do a lot of bad things, but those stories, that's what keep the bad people out and the good people safe in your kingdom. People fear you, but they're safe, I’m safe. That's why I can still look at you like you're a regular human being and not some fictitious Mad King.” 

“You don't know how many lives I've taken,” his voice hits you hard. “You don't know me.”

“I suppose I don't know you, but I know that you've saved more lives than you’ve taken,” you slowly step closer to the King. “Every time you take over a new village, or expand your land, you bring new people under your protection, keeping them safe from blood raids and night crawlers. You're their king and despite what they say about you, I know they appreciate the work you do for them.” 

Your hand reaches out to grab his. His hand accepts yours and you smile, “I'm here for you, my king. Thank you for keeping me safe.” 

You press a light kiss in his palm and close it, moving his hand back to his side. His eyes look at his fist and then glance at yours. 

“I'll always protect you, Y/N,” he pulls you into his arms. “You’ll be safe here with me.”

“Thank you,” you close your eyes and enjoy his warm embrace. You wanted this feeling to last forever. His arms around you, the smell of freshly picked fruit, the moonlight shining on you, the crisp night air, this moment. 

“Stay here with me,” his voice flows into your thoughts and you nod into his chest, again involuntarily. 

He pulls you away from him, waiting for a verbal response to which you say “of course, my king.”

His hand is back on your face, caressing your cheek as his lips fall right into yours again. You reach up to hold onto his hand and you kiss him back for the first time. His arm swings around you and pulls you closer.

He gently parts from your lips to say, “I don't think I've ever felt like this before.”

“What do you mean, my king?” Your voice can barely get out between long breaths. 

“It feels like I've never kissed anyone before and that I need catch up,” He kisses you again, this time with more passion and it takes your breath away. When your lips part again, you can feel yourself forcefully tug your body away so that you don't kiss him as you so hungrily desire. His mouth places kisses down your neck, lingering on your collarbone. His warm mouth on your cold skin sent sparks through your body and you couldn't help but close your eyes and grip his shirt. 

“May I?” He says, his hands hovering over the lace holding your dress together. 

“Yes, my king.” His hands untie the fabric and your dress falls slowly to the floor. Your exposed flesh is warmed by the King’s roaming hands. He lays a kiss on each breast and comes back up to kiss you again. 

“You’re beautiful, Y/N,” he slowly takes off his shirt and tosses it onto the ground. You reach up to touch his chest, but hesitate. The King takes your hand and moves it to his chest. You can feel his heart beating on your fingertips and you move closer to him. 

“You're beautiful too, my king,” you place soft kisses on his chest and look up at him. You gently touch your back, “I do apologize for my damaged skin.”

The King turns you around and brushes his fingers against the scars on your back, “who did this to you?”

“It was during the Great War. I had tried to escape my captivity several times prior and these were the punishment,” before you could apologize again, his lips pressed against one of your scars. It didn't hurt much and it felt nice. 

When he was finished, he lifts you into his arms and lays you down gently onto his bed. He placed a hot kiss on your lips and then begins to trail down your body. He spread your legs, placing a kiss right above your core.

“I would never hurt you,” he kisses the inside of your thighs, where there are a few small scars. 

“I know, my king,” you reach down to comb through his hair.

“Ryan,” he pulls your undergarment down, exposing your center. “Please, call me Ryan.”

“Ryan,” you breath out as his tongue lightly grazes your clit. He stops and looks up at you, concerned.

“Do you want me to stop?” 

You shake your head, “please keep going, it feels really nice.”

You close your eyes as his tongue is on you again, swirling around your clit. You can feel him press a finger up to your entrance, making you jolt a little. With his mouth still on your clit, he presses his finger slowly into you, filling you up. 

He starts to push into you more and more, while keeping his mouth on your clit, making my body feel hot and heavy. 

“Ryan-you-you don't have to-” you arch your back as he pushes another finger into you, making you feel so full.

“Please let me,” he lifts himself off you for a second, “I want you to feel good.”

You involuntarily cover your mouth with your hands as you moan loudly. His fingers were pressing up inside you at the perfect rhythm and his mouth was working wonders. You could barely contain yourself as you felt your entire body shake vigorously and you tried to hold back your moans but they fell right out. Your breathing was heavy and Ryan pull his fingers out of you. 

He licked his fingers clean and smiled, “You taste amazing.” 

Your face flushes and you try to hide yourself behind your hands but he pulls your hands away from your face. He kisses your boiling cheeks and then presses his lips against yours. 

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” he caresses your cheek. “You deserve to feel this way.”

You can't find the words to respond so you simply nod and he takes that as an okay. Ryan unbuckles his pants and kick them and his undergarments off the bed. 

You don't look at him until you can feel his cock hover over your entrance. He's a lot bigger than you were expecting so you take a long breath in.

“I'm going to go slowly, if it hurts, tell me to stop.” He presses his tip into you and stops.

“I'm okay Ryan,” you place your hand on his cheek. “Keep going.”

He pulls out and presses himself in you, a little more this time. He keeps this pace, filling you up slowly until he's all the way inside of you. Ryan holds himself inside of you, letting you adjust to his length.

“I’m ready, Ryan,” you say with a nod and a smile.

He kisses you once more, letting his lips linger on yours, before pulling himself out of you and then pushing himself into you. This produces a loud moan from you and you attempt to hold back your moans as he pushes into you faster and faster. Your hands are on his back, trying to hold on as his pace quickens. Tears begin to stream from your eyes as he hits  _ that _ spot and your body explodes again, forcing the moans out from your lips and causing every fiber of your being to spark with electricity. You cling onto Ryan with all your strength and he continues to push himself into you until his orgasm comes. A warmth surrounds you and you feel at complete bliss. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is going pretty well if I don't say so myself! And it's barely over!! How exciting. (Smut warning for this chapter)

You don't realize it but you had fallen asleep. When you woke up, you were cradled in Ryan’s arms. He was tracing circles on your back, his eyes looking dreamily at you. 

“Did you sleep well?” 

You can't help but smile, “yes I did. Did you sleep well, my king?”

He presses a kiss onto your forehead, “I slept very well Y/N.”

You hide your flushed face in his chest, “that's good to hear.”

“Would you like to take a bath with me?” You turn yourself to face the window, the sunlight was barely creeping it.

“I would like that a lot,” you say, feeling your sweaty body from last night’s activities.

“Well, you should go run the bath, I’ll be in there shortly,” his lips press lightly against yours and then he gets out of bed. You follow his lead and get out, feeling the cold morning air against your skin. A soft fabric wraps around you and you look up at Ryan, who has just thrown a light robe over you.

“This will keep you warm until the bath is ready.” 

“Thank you,” you touch the fabric, feeling the soft silk between your fingers.

Before you go into the bathroom, you glance back at Ryan, who is opening the forbidden door in his bedroom and slipping into it. You quickly turn back to the bath and let the hot water flow in. Once there is enough water in the bath, you add another array of bath salts and soaps that will cleanse the body. The water felt amazing to the touch and you waited patiently for Ryan to come out of the room and join you. 

Your wait is quite short as Ryan appears before you in a matter of moments, carrying his clothes and a dress. 

“I sure hope this fits you,” Ryan places the clothes on the stand and gestures for you to get into the tub. You disrobe and make your way into the warm water, Ryan following in after. “I’ll be sure to have someone make you some clothing.”

“You really don't need to,” you feel yourself sink into the water slightly. 

Ryan swims closer to you and his hands place themselves firmly on your shoulders, “Of course I do. I want you to move into this room with me.”

“This room? My king, this is your personal bedroom, I can't-”

“You can, and I want you to. You can still do your duties during the day, but at night, you’ll come home to me,” he holds your face in his hands. “Would that be alright?”

You look up at him. His eyes were gentle and sincere. “Yes, I’ll move here.”

“Wonderful,” he kisses you softly and your lips linger on his just a little bit longer. You want to pull him towards you but you stop yourself. “Do you want to kiss me?”

You nod but then look down. “I want to, but I shouldn't.”

“Why shouldn't you?” He lifts your head up.

“Because it's not my place to be kissing the king. I'm just a maid, I can't kiss the king just because I want to.” 

“You're not a maid anymore, Y/N. I thought I made myself clear. You will still clean these rooms, but you certainly are not a maid anymore. You’re-” Ryan stutters, trying to find the right words. “You’re my lady. And my lady is allowed to kiss me if she wants to.”

His lady… That title. It's what kings called the women they believed were queen-worthy. What was he thinking? You? Queen-worthy? All these thoughts clouded your mind to the point where you couldn't control your actions anymore. Your lips pressed against his and you kissed him for the very first time. Your lips parted his and you were the one kissing him. Your arms flung around his neck and you pulled him into a passionate lip lock. When you stopped kissing him, he was breathing hard against you. 

“Well, I see I've been missing out on a lot. I should've made you my lady a lot earlier,” Ryan kisses you again. “Lady Y/N, you should kiss me more often.”

The words roll off your tongue unconsciously, “Lady Y/N…”

“Indeed, Lady Y/N, that's your title. I’ll be sure to notify all those in the castle of your title change.” 

“Please don't!” You blurt out involuntarily. You catch yourself and say in a softer voice, “I mean, please don't. I-I have a lot of trouble with attention and I really can't-”

“What?” Ryan’s body presses you against the side of the tub, “do you not want the title?”

His body looms over you, making your heart beat faster. “I do, I want to be your lady, my king. I just-”

“Prove it,” he says, demandingly. “Prove you want the title and I won't tell anyone of our relationship.”

You can feel him harden against you, “how can I prove it? I will do anything.”

His hand slips down to your center, his callused fingers brush against your clit, making you quiver and almost lose balance. You lean yourself against his chest, trying not to shiver under his more aggressive touch.

“You’re still sensitive from last night, how lovely. I’m going to help open you up, then I want you to take control. That's how you’ll prove you want to be my lady, alright?” 

“Yes, my king,” once you say that, his finger slips into you in one fluid motion, making you cling onto his back. You don't know when or how but when he puts the third finger inside you, your body takes over, pushing down on his fingers as he pushes them into you. You feel the build up inside you and he pushes deeper and deeper into you until your climax hits and you writhe against his fingers. 

You can barely stay standing when he pulls his fingers out of you and leads you over to the other side of the tub, where there was a place to sit down. Ryan takes a seat and guides you onto his lap. 

“I’ve got a little problem Y/N,” he points down to his erect cock, “and I need your help.” 

He takes your hands and moves them to his cock and you carefully wrap your fingers around him. Hovering yourself above him, you gently slide down his length. 

A loud moan ejects from your mouth as Ryan’s hands press down on your hips, slamming his entire length inside of you. 

His head swings back and he groans, “now that feels amazing, can you do that Y/N?”

You nod and lift yourself off of him again, only to slam yourself back against him. You repeat this several times until you start to get a rhythm down. You notice that as you slam himself inside of you, he hits at a sweet spot that makes you shake a little every time. You begin to crave that feeling and grind against him every time you feel it, making Ryan grunt mercilessly. 

“I'm so close Y/N, just a little more,” he breathes out.

You start to pick up your pace more, pressing your lips against his. He kisses you back fiercely, fighting for dominance. You move away from his lips when he pulls towards you and he smirks. The smirk quickly turns into a heavy sigh as his orgasm comes and he grabs onto your hips and slams you hard against him, making you climax as well. You hold onto him tight as your body shakes and he fills you up. 

You press a kiss on his shoulder and lean your head against it, “so may I be your lady, my king?”

“Certainly,” he kisses your head, “you are my lady now. No one will know and no one will touch you but me, alright?”

“Yes, my king.” You wrap your arms around him and hold him. 

You both sit in the bath for a while, just relaxing your aching muscles and telling sweet stories.

You were still a little weak in the knees so Ryan helped you out of the bath and held your hand to keep you balance as you dried yourself and put on your new dress. It fit pretty snugly, but that was fine since you had work to do. When Ryan had his clothes on, he kisses you goodbye and puts on his crown, walking out of the room with such a majestic physique. 

A blush creeps onto your face and you try to shake it away but it won't go away. It was difficult to go through your daily duties because every few seconds you remember the way he breathes when-or how he smiles when-or when he's-your mind is all over the place and all you can think about is him. You're his lady now and you were safe. You were safe and his. 

You wrap your arms around yourself and sigh, “I'm safe and I’m his. There's nothing to be afraid of anymore."


	6. Chapter 6

After the day was over, you went back to your room and ate your dinner. You had to spend your rations today and you decided it would be useful to spend them on condiments. You bought yourself a jar of honey and some strawberry jam to go with the extra bread you got. Your dinner was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Hey sweetie,” it was Geoff’s voice to which you happily sprung up and answered.

“Hey Geoff,” you welcome his light pat on the head.

“I'm glad to see you're still happy. Sorry about this then,” Geoff sighs and scratches the back of his neck, “The King has just informed me that you’ll be moving to his quarters, so I'm here to help you move your stuff.”

“Oh,” you look around at your small room. You’ve become quite acquainted with this room and were a little sad to let it go. You had forgotten that Ryan wanted you a lot closer to him. “Alright, I don't have too much stuff so it should be an easy move.”

You and Geoff walk to the King’s quarters together when Geoff finally asks, “so you and the King must be getting along well if he wants you to move closer.”

“I suppose so,” you attempt to hide your blush behind the box you're carrying.

Geoff luckily does not see your red face in the darkness of the corridor and he sets your box down in front of the King’s rooms. 

“He told me to help you move and then leave you in front of the door. The King will show you where you’ll be staying.”

“I’ll miss you Geoff,” this time you hug him. He's always been there for you so you feel like it's time you start showing your affection. 

He happily returns the gesture and pats your head, “I’ll miss you too Y/N. Stay sweet, I'll come see you whenever I can.” 

Geoff lets you go and waves goodbye as he exits the corridor. You stand in front of Ryan’s bedroom and knock on the door.

“Why hello, my lady,” Ryan says, welcoming you inside. He picks up one of your boxes while you take the other and then closes the door. “Right this way.”

Ryan leads you up to the forbidden door and you gasp quietly, but loud enough for Ryan to let out a laugh. 

“I just remembered I told Geoff that this door was forbidden. It's nothing scary, I promise you’ll like it,” he opens the door and gestures for you to go in first. 

The windows in the room fill it with moonlight and you're left speechless at the door. It was another room, not as big as Ryan’s bedroom, but still big. It had a lovely bed and several shelves filled with books. There was a pantry for your food and an array of wines and liquors. The room was absolutely beautiful. 

“Does my lady like it? It was practically made for you,” Ryan says, kisses your shoulder quickly before setting your stuff down on a table. You do the same and look around the room some more. 

“I love it,” you turn and walk to Ryan. You lean up to kiss him, “Thank you.” 

“This is where you’ll be staying when I'm not here. When I am here, you’ll mostly likely be sleeping with me. I had clothes made for you, they are in the closet. And you get all these books, so feel free to read them whenever you’d like.” 

“This is absolutely wonderful,” you glance over at the many books lining the shelves and smile. 

“Only the best for my lady. Now if you don't mind,” Ryan takes your hand in his, “I've had a long day and would love to get some rest.”

You happily hold onto his hand as he guides you to his bed again. Ryan begins to undress, leaving everything but his undergarments on and he hands you his undershirt. You realize you’re still in the dress from this morning and you strip to your undergarments, putting his shirt on. 

“This look suits you,” he pulls you into bed with him. “Are you tired?”

“A little bit,” you cuddle up in his arms. 

“I am too. After this morning, in the bath, all that steam went straight to my head and I've been sleepy all day.” 

You bury your blushing face in his chest which makes him laugh. 

“You mustn’t be ashamed of your performance, you did quite well,” his fingers draw circles on your back. “Though, I do love that about you. How cute you are when you’re trying to hide your blush.”

You can't help but smile despite still being very embarrassed, and he can feel your smile against his chest, making him hold you closer.

“Is there anything you love about me?” He says. You slightly pull away to see that he's looking at you with hopeful eyes, which make you smile yet again. 

“I love when you close your eyes because something is going well,” the blush creeps back on your face and your hands shoot up to cover it. 

Ryan pulls your hands down and holds them in his, “go on.”

“I love when you smile after you kiss me,” you try pulling your hands out of his grip but you sadly fail and he stares directly at your blushing face. 

He leans down to kiss you and when he lets go, he smiles, “like that?”

You nod, “like that.”

“I'll remember to kiss you like that more often then,” he pats your head and brushes the hair out of your face. 

The grin on your face doesn't want to leave and you close your eyes and cuddle up into his chest again. 

“Good night, my lady.” He says with a light kiss on the head. 

“Good night, my king.” 

The next few days went on very calmly. You slept primarily with Ryan and did you daily duties. He would have his occasional anger fit but you always managed to keep him at bay, which he was grateful for. 

“Y/N?” He says into your ear one morning.

“Hmm?” you respond sleepily. 

“I’m leaving.” Your eyes shoot open and you look at his sad face. “I won’t be gone for long, but I have business to attend to at the borders. Normally Jack handles all these commotions but the border has been getting a little rough lately and they need their king to step in.”

You nuzzle into his chest and sigh, “when will you back be?”

“Less than a fortnight,” he pulls you in for a tighter embrace. “I will be back soon, I promise.”

You nod and smile, reaching up to caress his face. He leans down to you and you lean up to press your lips against his. They were soft and warm and sometimes you forget how nice it is to kiss someone in the morning when you have just woken up. It feels like a luxury you don’t deserve. But right now, there was a lot of things happening that you didn’t feel like you deserve.

“I’ll miss you, Y/N,” Ryan smiles against your lips. Like that, you don’t deserve that. But you humbly accept it because you’ve grown fond of Ryan.

“I’ll miss you too Ryan,” his fingers grab hold of yours and squeeze them lightly. He places a kiss on your palm and close your fist, holding it close to his heart. You smile lightly at the gesture but it was a difficult face to keep up when you know you’ll be alone again. 

“I should warn you, in my absence, we will be hosting a Royal Guest here in a few days. I should be back soon after they arrive,” Ryan brushes the hair out of your face. “Jack needs to discuss some treaties with them so they shouldn’t bother you at all. However, they will be staying in the other bedroom, which means I don’t want you to attend to it. I’ll have someone else look after that room while I’m away. Please, don’t leave this room unless you absolutely need to, alright?”

You were curious about this Royal Guest and why you needed to stay away from them but you don’t ask and just agree. “Okay, my king. I’ll stay here until you return.”

He lays a kiss on your forehead and sighs, relieved, “Good. I worry about you so do this for me.”

He starts to get up but you stop him, turning him towards you. You sit up and take his face in your hands and kiss him gently, to which he happily kissed back. You both share a long kiss, accompanied by a warm embrace.

When your lips parted, you say, “Goodbye, my king.”

“See you soon, my lady.” With a quick kiss on the cheek, Ryan gets up, dresses and leaves. 

You lay back down and sigh. It was the first time you were going to sleep alone in a week, just thinking about tonight made you a little sad. You were also insanely worried about the king, though you didn’t really understand why. He was a king, he fought his way to earning his own kingdom, how could you possibly be worried for him? He can handle himself. And yet, a feeling creeped up your spine and you couldn’t help but worry.

Later in the week, the Royal Guest arrived. And he was a force to be reckoned with. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh no! a fluff chapter? you know what that means, shits about to go DOWN. Actually it is about to go down in this castle like hardcore and I honestly can't wait to write it but for right now, enjoy that cliffhanger!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Slight noncon touching and kissing from someone you really don't like... (in the story I mean! He's a really cool guy irl! But this is fanfiction soooooooooo)

It was difficult keeping yourself busy when you were finished with your work halfway through the day. You weren't very used to sleeping in nor did you want to form a habit so you woke up every day at dawn and cleaned the bedroom, but were always done sometime after noon. You sigh as it's the fourth consecutive day in a row you’ve finished before the sun was high in the sky. 

Gazing out the window, you talk to yourself, “it’s strange, but I sort of miss cleaning the other room.”

You put away all your supplies and walk to your room. You were happy you at least had this space. It helped you pass the time. The books Ryan had picked for you were incredibly informative. You had gone through a set of books on how to treat wounds and just started a fun book about a fairy learning how to use her wings. As much as you loved subtle education, it was nice of Ryan to throw in a couple entertaining books. 

_ Thud. Thud. Thud, thud, thud. _

You roll your eyes and put down your book. You walk up to your room’s door and close it. The Royal Guest has been having a bit too much fun with the King’s array of concubines. You shiver at the thought of the things he must be doing with them, given the strong amounts of noise that come from the next door bedroom. The King’s bedrooms were already soundproof, so if you were hearing sounds, they must be making a fairly obscene amount of noise. Luckily, you couldn't hear them once you closed your door so you have been sleeping in your room ever since Ryan has left. 

You lay down on your bed and put the book over your face, “it's been 10 days since Ryan has left.”

Pushing the book to your side, you curl up on your bed and sigh into your sheets. You’ve been sighing a lot lately. This is what it must feel like to miss someone. You miss the way he held you as you slept. You miss waking up to his sleeping face. You miss the comfort of having him nearby. You miss everything about him. 

“I miss him,” you say, almost at your book. “I've never missed anyone so much before.”

After the Great War, you had no one left to miss. Your mind has practically erased the events of the Great War from your memory. You get back up and walk around the room, finding a book on the history of the Great War.

“The Great War was a civil war that broke out in the land beyond the eastern sea,” you read aloud to yourself, sipping on some tea. “The kingdom that stood there was ruled by a king whose anger was stronger than any in the land. King Michael stood over and watched as his people tried to overthrow him and his parliament. Their unsuccessful attempts to assassinate him brought about more rage than the kingdom had ever seen before. Those who were lucky fled, were conquered by another kingdom or were executed. The unlucky ones were the ones who remained in the kingdom and were still living under his wrath. The Great War ended when the rebellion surrendered, leaving King Michael with all his power intact.”

The shivers ran down your spine and you touched your back. All the scars you held were from the Great War. You shake the thoughts from your head and think about how you aren't there anymore. You toss the history book to the other side of the room and try to forget about the past. You take your fairy book and continue to read it. The plot was incredibly captivating and you read all the way to the end. By the time you finished, the sun had set and your stomach was growling. You glanced over at your pantry and realized it was about time for you to spend your rations. You realized you never asked Ryan about how rations worked while you lived in his quarters. 

“He told me not to leave,” you say, again to yourself. Your stomach is growling like crazy though, “but I guess he would understand if I left for this reason.” 

You slip out of your room and listen. The Royal Guest must be out at dinner as well, since there was no noise coming from the other room anymore. You take the chance to also slip out of Ryan’s bedroom and hand to your old dining quarters, where you exchanged your rations for more filling things like nuts and bread along with some fruit and vegetables. 

As you carry your rations back to Ryan’s bedroom, you can hear a set of footsteps walking towards you. A lot of Royal people walked on this side of the halls so you lower your head and continue walking. The footsteps, however, slow and stop in front of you. You freeze in your place once they speak.

“Now, I thought you were dead Y/N.” 

That voice, you knew that voice. Much too well. When your eyes look up from your rations and you see the red curls and that smirk, everything you're holding falls to the floor. Your breathing picks up and you're in a full state of panic. The tears drop slowly out of your eyes.

“Have you been hiding from me this entire time?” King Michael says, as he steps over your fallen food and stands in front of you. He shoves you firmly and holds you tightly against the wall. “I'm shocked, you’re staying in the King’s quarters. You’ve been so close by this entire time.” 

“Please-please,” you say through your tears, putting your arms up in defense. “Don't hurt me.”

“Hurt you? Why, Y/N,” his hand strokes your cheek, sending shivers down your spine. Michael holds your hands above your head as his lips steal a kiss from yours. When he releases you, he whispers, “If I wanted to hurt you, you know you deserve it. You made me think that you were dead and now you present yourself to me, very alive.”

“I-I,” you try to speak but his lips cut you off. He holds you with too familiar of a touch. When he presses his body against yours, all the memories that you tried so hard to lock away start to slip back out. His touch, his lips, his everything, the feeling rushed through you and it wasn't inviting. You try to shove him away but your body leans towards him. 

“King Michael,” you recognize that voice as Jack’s and Michael lets you go. You face away from Jack. Jack isn't very concerned with your presence, “we have more business to settle, then you can continue with her.” 

“One moment,” Michael says to Jack. His eyes shoot back to yours, “I’ll continue with you later.”

His hand slides up your thigh and holds it there firmly for a second, before leaving with Jack. You stand there, still leaned up against the wall, and when Jack and Michael have left, you drop to the floor and hold onto your knees. The tears start to pour heavier onto your dress and you sit in the middle of your pile of rations. 

You rest your head against your knees, “why did it have to be Michael? Why did the Royal Guest have to be King Michael?”

The scars on your back feel like they're opening back up again and you can't shake the feeling building your stomach. You knew what's coming, you’ve been through it all before.

Rage.

You pick up all your rations and put them away in your room. Your appetite has disappeared and your stomach just feels a much too familiar pain. You still decide to eat, in order to keep your energy up. You had defended yourself before, you could do it again. 

Looking down at your shaking hands, you make a fist and try to build your confidence, “come on, I've escaped him once before, I can do it again.”

You let out a painful sigh. Your back was really hurting again. It didn't help with your motivational talking. It just made you remember everything. You had left for a reason. You had come here for a reason. And now that reason is two seconds away from ruining your entire life again. 

There's a knock on Ryan’s bedroom door. You freeze in your place. You pray to yourself that it's really Ryan and that he's back early from his trip but you know that you’re not that lucky. 

“Come on, Y/N,” Michael’s voice echoes through the room. “Open the door for your king. I promise, I just want to talk.”

The next few things you do aren't in your control. It was a fight or flight response. You sprint towards your room and lock the door. It wouldn't be long until he got in. You look around and grab a knife and change out of your current clothes into the most commoner-like outfit you could scavenge from the clothes Ryan made you. The banging on the door increases, harder and more forceful.

“I’ll break down this door if I had to,” Michael screams loud enough for you to hear the anger in his voice. “You know I can.”

You try to keep yourself composed as you stuff your newly bought rations into a bag along with other small things and throw the bag over your shoulder. You hold the knife firmly in your hand and start to make your exit. Ryan had showed you the way out. The secret passage to the outside that he used when he wanted to get away. Ryan… If you ran now, you wouldn't just be running away from Michael, you would be running away from-

The door in the other room makes a loud breaking noise and you know Michael has entered the room. There was no time. If you stayed, you would be found by the one person you were hiding from. But if you stayed, Ryan will think you left him. 

“You can't hide from me anymore!” Michael’s footsteps get louder and louder. “I'm done playing this game of ours, Y/N…”

No choice. It was stay and risk being taken away or run and risk losing Ryan. 

“I'm sorry Ryan,” tears drop down your face as you open the secret compartment in the floor and slowly descend the stairs, shutting the floorboard. 

You clutch your bag and sprint as fast as you can, running down the long corridor and through the series of twists and turns Ryan had showed you until you stumble out of the darkness. You were a little bit outside the kingdom and you kept running. You didn't know where you were going.

But you knew you couldn't stay there anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

“Do you want to see something cool?” Ryan asks you. You look at him a little confused but nod. He takes your hand and leads you into your room. “Just light that candle for me.”

You had always wondered why there was this random candle in your room when the moonlight and sunlight always lit your room up brightly without any need for more light. You listened and lit the candle. Holding the warm wax in your hand, you watch as Ryan kneels down and pops open the floorboard. To your surprise, there's actually a ladder leading down.

“Hand me the candle, my kind lady,” you listen to him and watch him climb down the ladder. He gestures for you to follow and you hesitate but you oblige. You climb down after him.

“Should I shut the floorboard?” You ask politely.

“No, keep it open so we can get back into the castle,” Ryan helps you down and holds your hand firmly. “Now let's go.”

“What is this place?” You say, looking around the darkness. 

“The King before me did not have a very loyal queen,” Ryan explains as he points out the next turn. “Rumor has it, she made this passageway to sneak in her lovers.”

You gasp lightly which ensues a loud laugh from Ryan. You quickly cover his mouth with your hand and look around, which make him laugh even more. 

“Don't worry Y/N, I am the only person who knows about this place,” you pull your hand off his mouth and reveal a smile. “And now, you do too.”

You think about what he uses this passageway for. He had enough women just sitting, waiting for him in the other bedroom, so he didn't need to sneak any inside. You could ask but you're still a little shy just talking to Ryan. He held your hand pretty firmly and it felt really comforting, following as he led the way. There was a light that was slowly becoming more and more visible. Once you were only a stretch away from the outside, Ryan blows out the candle.

“We won't need that anymore, trust me.”

You both slowly walk outside. You adjust to the sudden surge of light. The moon was high in the sky but that was the only source of light. The stars were shining brighter than you’ve ever seen them before. Maybe you haven't seen them in a while, but were they sparkling? Slowly, the stars started to move and you realize they aren't all stars you're looking at. They're fireflies, lightening up all around you and Ryan.

“Meet my buddies,” the fireflies circle around Ryan and the grin on his face is precious. 

Several fireflies land on your arm and you reach up to look at them, “they're beautiful.”

The fireflies begin to flutter up into the sky, lightening the night again. Ryan is looking at you but you don't notice. You never notice when he looks at you, especially when he looks at you because you make him happy enough to share this moment with him. If only you knew how you made him feel. 

“I would come here to calm down before you came into my life,” Ryan’s voice is soft and you look away from the sky and at him. “I wanted you to know about this place. It doesn't have any nightcrawlers, just fireflies. It's safe.”

You lean over and hug him close. His arms wrap around your body and you can't help but smile against his chest. It was such a beautiful place to share. Why would he share it with you? It was literally his happy place, the only place in the world where he felt calm. Besides you. You made him calm. You were also his happy place. 

“Ryan, thank you,” you hold him tightly. “I’ve never seen something so beautiful before.”

“I've seen better,” he kisses your head. “And she's standing right here with me.”

The last thing Ryan says is too quiet for you to make out so you disregard it and continue enjoying the moment you're in. Ryan pulls away from you slightly to lean down towards you. His lips dance in front of you, tempting you to lean in too. You close your eyes, leaning up towards him and your lips touch. His arms still hold you close to him and his lips hold yours in a soft embrace. All you can think about is how the fireflies are dancing around you and how the night sky was lit up brighter than you've ever seen it before. In reality, all you could think about was Ryan. How he made you feel, how he gave you so much kindness, how he felt about you. 

“You can come here whenever you’d like,” Ryan walks you back to the tunnel. “What's mine is yours.”

You get on your tiptoes and kiss Ryan on the cheek, “this means a lot to me. Thank you.”

“Now come on, you lead the way,” Ryan gestures for you to get in front of him. 

You fluster, “I'm sorry, I don't really remember the way back and it's dark and…” 

Ryan grabs a hold of your hand and squeezes it lightly, “follow your heart and it’ll lead the way.”

You jerk yourself awake and rub your eyes. The trees and bushes surrounding you were unfamiliar. There was a loud pounding noise in the air. Your heart was in pain. Where did your heart lead you? Away from Michael, but away from Ryan as well. 

You put your hand on your chest, “lead me where I need to go.”

You look back at the castle and how far away it was. You were running all night, so much so that you didn't even realize when you collapsed from exhaustion and fell asleep. The thought of Michael finding you again made your skin crawl. He couldn't find you now. He’ll never find you again. You wouldn't let him. 

You get up from the ground and brush yourself off. Your clothes were dirty but that was okay. You looked like a hard working villager. That's all you needed to bend in. You started making your way for the coastal villages, the ones that haven't been touched by any kingdom yet. Maybe it was better to get away from the kingdoms. To get away from it all. The pain in your heart felt like a dull blade trying to cut into you. You used all of your strength to keep moving and to not roll into a ball and cry. All you wanted to do was cry. Your life in the castle, it was going so well. You had friends, you had a place to live, you had Ryan. 

“Why did he have to come back and ruin it?” Your legs gave out slightly and you fell onto the side of a tree, sobbing. “I don't deserve this, I never deserve this.”

You slide down to the ground and hold onto your knees, the tears at the point of no return, “give me back my life! I'm not yours anymore, I don't need to be with you anymore…”

The pain building in your chest increases and the tears just got worse. You clutch your chest and just cry. There wasn't anything you wanted more than for Ryan’s arms to be around you. For him to hold you close and tell you that he’d protect you and keep you safe. 

“I never got to tell him how I felt,” you lean back and hold your heart. “My heart beats for you Ryan. I love you.”

Your words linger in the air but are unheard. If a tree falls in the forest and nobody's there to hear it, does it make a sound? If you confess your love for the King in the middle of nowhere after running away, does it make a difference? Your confession does not soothe your heart; it just makes the pain more unbearable. The possibility of him loving you back was what made the pain worse. If he didn't love you, leaving would be easier. But somewhere in your heart and soul, you knew he felt the way. That he looked at you the way you looked at him. But now you’ll never know. You’ll never-

“I love you too,” a voice says. 


	9. Chapter 9

Ryan stumps slightly behind on his horse. He can’t help but worry about you. You’ve been the only thing on his mind this entire trip. It was more difficult not to think about you on these long horse rides. There wasn’t ever much chatter regardless so the air was quiet and he was lost in his thoughts. The Knights, who surround him, slow their pace. 

Geoff rides up next to Ryan, “Are you alright, buddy?”

Ryan nearly falls off his horse at the sudden sound of someone’s voice but manages to catch himself and keep his cool, “I’ll be alright. Just a long ride.”

“There’s a resting area up ahead where we’ve arranged rooms so you can get some sleep then,” Geoff leans over to pat him on the back. “We’ll be home soon.”

Ryan has been on the road for a week now, traveling to recently conquered villages. He’s made the same speech over and over again and it was starting to bore him.  _ This used to be fun. _ He thought to himself.  _ I used to like the moments away from the castle, imposing my reign over my kingdom. Instilling fear and making people quake under me, but now it’s just… _

“Looking a little lovesick there?” Geoff’s voice cuts through Ryan’s thoughts.

“What did you just say,” Ryan glares over Geoff. “How did you know about-”

“Well if you don’t mind me saying sir, it’s pretty stinkin’ obvious you have a thing for Y/N,” Geoff laughs. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but the way you’re moping about, it looks like you might need someone to talk to.”

“Do you know Y/N? Like personally,” Ryan asks, a little curious and a little worried.

Geoff laughs again, this time gathering a crowd, “We all know Y/N. Not the way you probably know her, but the Knights and her have a pretty good bond. She was never a maid to us, if she wanted to train, we would’ve made her into a Knight by now.”

“Why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?” Ryan’s voice gets a little angry but he quickly changes back. “I mean, I’m happy to hear she wasn’t alone in the castle. But it would’ve been nice to know that the men guarding me also knew her as more than just a maid.”

“You’re insanely difficult to talk to,” Geoff steadies his horse and gets off. “We’re here, by the way.”

The resting area was pretty large and had its own bar. Ryan and his men weren’t the only ones there either. There were plenty of  townsfolk, none of which seem to recognize that Ryan was their king. This made it incredibly easy to mellow out. Ryan pulls Geoff to the sides as another knights goes to request room keys.

“Let’s grab a drink,” Ryan says invitingly.

“Sir, are you hitting on me?” Geoff gasps which is welcomed with a grab by the collar.

“Shut up,” Ryan looks around to make sure no one is listening to them. “I need to talk to someone and I think you’re the only one who can keep a secret.”

“My lips are sealed,” Geoff zips his mouth shut then points at Ryan’s hand. “Do you mind letting go of me now? I don’t like it rough this soon in our relationship.”

“Now I get why we didn’t talk that much before,” Ryan lets go of Geoff. “Meet me in the bar in 30 minutes.”

Ryan grabs his key from one of the Knights and makes way towards his room. Once he’s inside, he clutches his heart tightly.  _ Damn, what is this pain? _ He lays down on his bed and looks up at the ceiling.  _ Why do I feel this way?  _ It was a burning pain. The more he thought about how far away he was from you, his heart hurt more. The more he missed you, the more his heart craved your love. 

“I miss her,” Ryan looks over at his side, wishing you were there. “I hope she’s alright.”

The feeling in his stomach was uneasy. He was so worried. It wasn’t like anything bad could happen to you. You were safe inside his bedroom until he came back to protect you. But the regret sat with him.

“Why didn’t I tell you to come with me?” Ryan sits up and slumps over his body.  _ Don’t kid yourself, you know why you didn’t. You were afraid, so deadly afraid. _ “What if she doesn’t feel the same? What if she was just keeping me close for safety measures? What if she’s just using me?”

He shakes his head.  _ That can’t be true. Can it?  _ His heart was beating loudly in his chest, so loud he was afraid his neighbors could hear it scream.  _ Does it matter if she doesn’t love me? Do I need her to love me? Maybe I don’t deserve her love… But she deserves to be protected. To be cherished, to be loved, to be kept safe. And if she doesn’t feel the same, maybe that’s okay. Because even so, I still l- _

There’s a knock on Ryan’s door. Ryan glances outside and the moon is already high in the sky.  _ Shit, Geoff. _ Ryan throws on a different pair of clothes and answer the door. Geoff was standing in front of him, arms crossed.    
“You shouldn’t stand up a date,” Geoff waves his finger in front of Ryan and Ryan swats it away. “Come on, lover boy. We got beers to drink.”

The bar was lively. Ryan had never seen such a happy go lucky set of people before in his life. They partied and drank like they didn’t have day jobs to attend to or wives to go home to, and he knew either of those were true. Immediately when Ryan and Geoff entered, the townsfolk pull them in and offer them two beers right off the bat. 

“So what seems to be troubling you?” A villager pulls up next to them at their table. “Your gloominess is going to infect this here tavern!”

Ryan snaps back, “I don’t hand any-”

“He’s got love problems!” Geoff interjects. “And he could use some help, got any advice?”

The villager takes a swig of his beer and invites a couple more of his friends to sit down next to them, “Well what is the problem? We all got wives here, so we must’ve done something right, one way or another.”

They start elbowing each other and winking, creating a blast of laughter that filled with bar. Geoff joins in and soon after so does Ryan. 

Ryan is about to speak but another villager covers his mouth with his hand and points to his untouched beer, “Drink first, talk after.”

Ryan is slightly reluctant but decides what the hell and just chugs the whole pint, producing cheers from the crowd of villagers. The atmosphere felt so homey. Ryan almost forgot why he was feeling so slumped but it still lingered in the back of his head. But at least now, he could get some things off his chest.

“What do you do if you’re unsure if someone loves you for you or not?” Ryan says to the crowd. “And what do you do if they don’t love you back but you love them?”

“Well the first question is much too difficult to answer,” one of the villager’s explains. “You’ll never be sure if someone loves you, until the one day where you just know. It just comes to you, if you’re lucky, in the form of them saying ‘I love you’, but sometimes you can just tell by the little things. Love will always be uncertain.”

“As for the second one,” another villager pats Ryan on the back. “You just gotta let her go. If she doesn’t love you, you can’t force her to. But since you love her, you give her your all. You give her your love and if she doesn’t take it, it’s her loss. Then, you just find the strength to move on.”

“Love is rough man,” Geoff says after taking another swig of his beer. “It’s hard to get and it’s hard to keep. But when you have it, you’ve got it.”

“Sometimes it isn’t that easy though,” another villager leans over the table towards Geoff and Ryan and whispers. “Sometimes you have it, then you lose it.”

“What do you mean?” Ryan asks. “Sorry, sort of new to all this love and stuff.”

“Haven’t you guys heard?” The villagers look at each other. “About the eastern kingdom?”

Ryan and Geoff shake their heads and the villagers begin to explain.

“The Great War begun when the people within the eastern kingdom began to rebel against their king, whose rage had set the land into chaos. Rumor has it is that his fiancee, the soon to be queen, had attempted to run away. They were young lovers is what the stories say. But as time went on, her love for him faded as his possessive nature grew. His rage killed their love. She tried to run, but once he found out, he trapped her inside his castle. Her only way out was death.”

“But she isn’t dead!” A villager jumps in. “She had poisoned herself but the poison only made it seem like she was dead. When King Michael checked her coffin a few months ago, her body was gone. Apparently she’s still alive, someone reported to him that she was somewhere in this kingdom.”

Geoff whispers to Ryan, “King Michael? Isn’t he the Royal Guest we have staying in our castle?”

“So the rumors must be true!” Another villager exclaims, though unaware of Geoff and Ryan’s conversation. “What I hear from the border guards is that King Michael is here to talk a deal about armory but the real reason he’s here to find his fiancee.”

“Poor girl,” a villager says, shaking his head. “She used to be a princess and now she’s running for her life. Constantly needing a place to hide, to get away from King Michael.”

“I heard she’s very beautiful,” the villagers swoon. “Princess Y/N of the northern kingdom.”

Ryan nearly spits out all of his beer the second he hears your name escape the lips of the townsfolk and he keeps it in and coughs. Geoff pats him on the back but is as wide eyed as he is. 

“I heard after she tried to run away, Michael torched her entire kingdom and took the land for his own as a warning, which is what started the Great War,” the villager shivers. “I would not want to be found alive by him.”

Ryan leans over to Geoff and whispers frantically, “They’re right next door to each other!”

“We don’t know if they’re talking about our Y/N-”

“You know what, King Michael must have horrible sheets now, I heard Y/N was fantastic at house work.”

_ Fucking hell. _

Ryan and Geoff get up and bow to the crowd and Ryan speaks, “Thank you all for your hospitality. All the drinks are on me, thank you again. We must be going now.”

Ryan pulls out a sack of gold from his pocket and pours it out on the table. It practically lit the room. The money he spilled out was more money than most of those townsfolk made in a year. 

Right before Ryan and Geoff step out of the bar, a villager hollers at them, “We’ll keep your kindness and your love story a secret, King Ryan.”

Ryan smiles at them and nods, shutting the door to the bar. Geoff goes to wake up the rest of the knights but Ryan stops him. 

“Caleb can take care of the rest of the trips,” Ryan gestures for Geoff to come with him. “I’ve already warned him about what might happen if I suddenly needed to rush home.”

“Right sir,” Geoff and Ryan mount their horses. “Do you think we’ll make it in time?”

“I fear, we might already be too late.” 

Ryan and Geoff take off into the night and pray they make it back to you in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have resurrected from the dead! In actuality, I had wrote several chapters of this fic but those chapters were a little much and had like super bad plot so I hadn't had time to redo them... Until now! 
> 
> So... who's that voice that said I love you? Was it Ryan? Did he make it back to you in time? 
> 
> You'll just have to wait and see, hehe! <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES FINALLY WOOHOO!!! After two months of not updating, the update is finally here <3 This update took so long because...well...you'll see. I've come to the conclusion that this was the best route to go and I'll explain why at the end of the update! <3

You can't see anything. Or well, everything is so cloudy. There's a strange liquid dripping from your ears and all you can hear is what sounds like Ryan’s voice. He sounded hurt and worried and anxious and you couldn't bare to hear it. If it were really him. 

As the thought of Ryan made its way into your mind, you knew one thing for certain. You’ve dealt with these kind of illusions before. They project idealized fantasies. There was only one wizard in the land who could do these kind of illusions. And he wasn't on your team.

“I know you're out there,” you say, trying to rub the liquid away from your face, hoping to minimize the effects. 

“It's me,” there was Ryan’s voice again. “I’ve come here to save you.”

“No, you're not him,” you scream at the fog in your vision. “Stop pretending.”

“Y/N, it's really me,” his voice was concerned and your heart ached but that's what he wanted you to believe. “I rode all the way here to save you.”

“No, no!” You thrash around the fog, running through the forest, trying to find him. “Where are you? Jeremy, I know it's you.”

“Aw,” he says, Ryan’s voice melting away and molding into Jeremy’s, a voice you knew much too well. “To think, I thought you'd humor me, like old times.”

“Get rid of the fog, Jeremy,” you lift your arms up. “I'm unarmed and I can't hurt you.”

“Well, obviously,” he chuckles. “You never could break my spells. The potion will wear off soon, don't worry. In the meantime…”

A force lifts you up and drags you through the forest at such a speed you thought your hairs were going to rip right out of your skull.

“I've got a princess to deliver,” your body gets dropped onto the ground. 

It was still dirt so you knew you were somewhere in the forest. You had run a great deal so not even Jeremy had the power to transport you all the way back in one go. You only had one more shot to get out. But he knew all your moves. 

You were at a stalemate when Jeremy arrived by your side again, still hidden in your foggy vision. You were hopeless. Once he was rested again, he would ship you straight to Michael. 

You had always dealt with these illusions and the foggy vision under Michael’s “protection”. In the beginning, you believed it. They were what kept you ignorant to his tyrant ways. But as the news of his rage-filled ruling eventually made it to your ears, the Michael you loved, and had envisioned in those fantasies, was gone. The wet feeling around your eyes, the misinterpreted voices, they were all Jeremy’s doing. He fueled your illusions and made you question every interaction you had with “Michael”. Were some of your memories of Michael during his reign real or fake? Were they all conjured up by Jeremy or could some be true? You were never able to shake this thought.

And now you’ll never know.

With one swift motion, your foggy vision went away. In your clear vision, Jeremy is laying on the floor, smelling flowers, asleep. A hand is presented before you. 

You look up and see someone you used to know. Someone you used to know very well. You’d know him anywhere with those long luscious locks of his and that charming smile that could make anyone smile back. Tears stream down your face as you jump up from the ground and give Jon, your old bodyguard, the biggest hug. 

“What are you doing here?” You say as he twirls you. “I thought you were dead.”

“I thought you were dead!” Jon says, holding you close. 

You pull him away and scratch your head, “yeah, that didn't work out so well for me.”

“What are you doing in this kingdom? You should be far away and in hiding, not at the edge of the forest,” Jon take off his pack and pulls out a canteen of water, handing it to you. “Especially not around Jeremy. You know what horrible things he has done to your mind.”

“I didn't mean to stumble into the forest,” You thank him for the water and take a quick swallow, “I was hiding, working in King Ryan’s castle. Again, didn't work out very well in the end.” 

Jon gestures for you to hurry and follow him, “I’m staying at this cottage upstream. Let's catch up there.”

As you follow him, you tell him about your encounter with Michael. You told him about how Michael had found you and that you ran away. Jon had been your personal bodyguard since you were young, he was practically assigned to you right out of the academy. He was truly the closest thing you had to a friend during Michael’s reign of terror. He would sneak messages for you between you and your parents. Then one day, he never returned. You thought Michael had discovered Jon and executed him but you were thankful that wasn't the case.

“So how did you manage to escape the kingdom alive?” You ask him as you both walk up the river. 

“I should be asking you that question,” he says with a laugh. “You managed to deceive an entire kingdom. I just disappeared.”

“It was thanks to one of the handmaidens, actually, sweet Barbara,” you explain. “She took pity on me when she came to bring me meals. One day, she brought me a berry that she describes had the power to fake death. I didn't have any other options so I took it. Next thing I know, I wake up in my own coffin, sealed away in the burial room. Barbara was there a few hours after I woke up and she helped sneak me and herself out of the kingdom, along with several other villagers. I told her it was best if I didn't follow them, in case someone recognized me and attacked them as well. So I've been on my own ever since.”

“You’ve got a real fighting spirit in you,” Jon pats your back. “I’m proud of you.”

You pat him back and lean your head on his shoulder, sighing. You look up to him and say, “why did you leave me, Jon?”

Jon doesn't answer for a few seconds, though it felt like ages. When he finally does, he says, “I never left you. I just couldn't get back to you. I was trapped, for a while actually, by King Michael.”

You look at him shocked, “what do you mean, trapped?”

“On my way back from seeing your parents, Michael caught me on the border. I was held captive there for weeks,” Jon lightly touched his back. “He wasn't supposed to let me go. He was using my disappearance as leverage against you, but when you ‘died’, he let me go. He said my life as a protector was meaningless without someone to protect, so he wanted me to live my meaningless life.”

You stop Jon from walking and wrap your arms tightly around him, “I'm so sorry.”

You could feel the scars on his back through his shirt. They were like your own. He had faced the same treatment you had. If he wasn't your protector and your friend, none of these horrible things would've happened to him. That's what you regret most about this whole situation, it was that you were to blame for a various of things. You always told yourself you shouldn't blame yourself, but you always did. 

“It's my fault,” you cry into his chest. “It's all my fault. If I had just been the queen Michael wanted me to be, none of this would've happened.”

“Shhhh Y/N,” Jon brushes his fingers through your hair, “it's not your fault. It was Michael’s fault, he is to blame for all of this. You were merely a pawn in his game. You didn't do anything wrong.”

“But I did, Jon,” you sigh, “I stopped loving him when he needed me the most. That's what broke him, that's what fueled his rage. I caused this.”

“Y/N,” Jon pulls you out from his arms and has you look straight into his eyes, “you can't blame yourself for falling out of love with him.”

You press your forehead against Jon’s chest and sigh again, “why is life so complicated? Remember the good ol days? When we used to chase each other around the castle and laugh until it was morning? I miss those days…”

“I miss those days too,” Jon holds you tightly against his chest. You don't realize it as he slips away, but his arms around you made you feel so safe, “Come on, you must be exhausted.”

You follow Jon for a couple more steps until you reach a little hidden cottage in the middle of the forest. It was really hidden, locked away inside a circle of giant trees. It had a very cozy feeling to it. You missed feeling this safe. 

“Welcome to my home!” Jon says happily, opening the door for you. “Do you like it? I built it myself.”

You walk into the cottage and are immediately star struck. It was absolutely enchanting. The cozy feeling really swept over you and you felt at peace. You turn around to Jon and smile at him, which is returned with a smile. All this time, you thought you were alone. But in reality, you still had a friend hidden away in the world. You were glad it was Jon. 

“I love it,” you spin around in the living room, where there's a fireplace. “Can I light a fire?”

“Go for it,” he points at the logs and kindling. 

You quickly start a fire and curl up by it, watching it burn away, “it's been awhile since I've sat by a fire.”

Jon makes his way to you with a cup of tea and wraps a blanket around you, “I remember you used to make me sneak you into the royal library so you could read by the giant fireplace. Glad to see you haven't changed much.”

You pat the space next to you and Jon immediately joins you, sipping on his own cup of tea, “we had some good times together, haven't we?”

“Great times,” he raises his cup, “to having you back in my life.”

“Ditto,” you clink your cup against his and take a quick sip. “I see your tea skills have improved.”

“Well, I have a lot of free time now that I'm not looking after you,” Jon laughs and you laugh with him. 

You realize Jon was the only good piece from your past. He reminded you of the good parts, because he was there for all the good parts. He was always by your side. You were surprised how independent you've grown, knowing how dependent you used to be of him. War changes a person, you suppose. You wonder if Jon had changed at all.

“Are you doing alright Jon?” You put your hand on his hand, which makes him look at you funny.

“What do you mean?” Jon asks.

“You don't have to be strong around me anymore,” you squeeze his hand lightly. “You're not my bodyguard anymore. You’re my friend, so please, if there's anything wrong, please tell me.”

“I’m doing alright,” he says, brushing his hair back. “There are days where I could be doing better, but I manage. Are you doing alright?”

You lay down by the fire and hold the cup of tea close to you, “I’m doing better now. Much better.”

Jon lays down too, smiling, “it’s been a while since I had anyone to talk to. This is nice.”

“It’s nice to know I still have a friend left after the war,” you reach out to poke his nose. “Glad it’s you.”

Jon smiles at you and ruffles your hair. The next words to leave his mouth were not ones you were expecting.

“Stay here with me, Y/N,” Jon says, taking your hand in his. “You’ll be safe, I promise.”

His hand was warm, like it always was. You both used to hold hands a lot, it was kind of your thing. It was how Jon would comfort you if there was a battle going on or if people were dying of famine, he would hold your hand tightly and keep you safe. You realize now that the only other time you felt safe besides in Ryan’s arms, was being with Jon. 

You had nowhere else to go, so you say, “yes.”


	11. Chapter 11

You wake up to the warm sun on your face. Where were you? You sit up and see that you’re carefully wrapped up in a blanket, on a very soft bed. The window in the room seeped in sunlight through the white curtain, lighting the room softly. The door slowly opens and Jon’s head peaks in.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” Jon walks in, holding a crate. “I just went into town and bought some clothes for you and other things you might need.” 

You quickly get up and help Jon with the box, making him laugh. He takes the help, though he didn’t really need it, and you and him pack all your stuff into the dresser. You smile at his choices, he always knew what looked best on you. He had sat through several hundred dress fittings before. 

A weird feeling hits you. Jon was the only person who knew you were a princess, a soon-to-be queen as well. He was also the only person who knew about your past. He was truly the only person in the world who knew anything about you. You sigh, hoping he doesn’t see. 

As much as you wanted to tell Ryan about your life, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You and Ryan were equals, both royalty, but how could you tell him that? You were just a maid to him, that’s all he knew you by. He treated you well, though, and you appreciated that greatly. Him and his kingdom had kept you safe all this time. You were happy about that. But you’ll never know if he ever loved you back, which made you a little sad. Would he have loved the real you? The one with the flawed past? The one who has to run for the rest of her life? 

Jon’s hand squeezes your own and you snap back into reality, “if you don’t like the clothes, you can just say so, y’know.”

You laugh, he always knew how to make you laugh, “no, no! It’s not that. I love the clothes, I really needed them.”

“You must’ve had a tough time out there by yourself,” Jon pulls you in for a warm hug. “You’re not alone anymore. You have me again.”

You hug him back, “thank you for keeping me safe, Jon.”

“Forever and always,” Jon says, raising his pinky. “Remember?”

You slide your pinky next to his and smile, “of course I remember.”

“You should get out of those clothes,” Jon points at the villager outfit you had on. “There’s a bath downstairs, I’ll make breakfast.”

You punch him lightly on the shoulder, “what? You don’t like the village girl look?”

“No! Well...yes, but that’s besides the point! Your clothes are-”

You quickly cover Jon’s mouth with your hand and giggle hysterically, “I know, I know! They’re filthy, I really should’ve changed before bed, but I was so tired. I’m going to the bath now.” 

You take your hand off his mouth and take a dress and undergarments from the dresser then head downstairs. You didn’t even realize it was a two story cottage. Jon really outdid himself. You find the bath after opening several doors and throw off your dirty clothes and hop in. It was cold, but you liked it. Then, almost all of a sudden, you get flushed. Extremely flushed. Why? Because you remember Ryan again. You remember your bath with him, the way he held you, how he told you that you were his lady. Your heart starts to beat fast and it hurts. 

“I’m sorry,” you shake your head and say to yourself. “I’m sorry I’m not there with you anymore.”

You wanted to go back, but you couldn’t. Not with Michael there, especially not with Michael anywhere near. And with Jeremy still alive, he's bound to find some way to find you. Maybe Michael would leave and then you could go back to Ryan. You knew the way back. Yeah, that’s what you’ll do. You’ll stay here with Jon until Michael leaves. When Michael leaves, you’ll go back to Ryan and tell him everything. 

That is, if Michael doesn’t tell him first. What if Ryan comes home and Michael tells him that you left him? That you wanted to run from both of them, that you couldn’t handle this kind of life anymore? Why is your head filled with speculations! You sigh, sinking into the bath a little lower. 

You are going to stay with Jon until Michael leaves, whenever that is. No matter what happens after Michael leaves, you’re sure you can explain to Ryan. You’re sure of it. He would believe you, right? If he did, Jon would be granted immunity and safety within the kingdom. If you could help Jon the way he helped you, you would like that.

You get out of the bath and change. The dress Jon bought you was nice and breezy, which you loved. You walk out and follow the smell of food. How long had it been since you’ve eaten? You still had food in your pack, but you didn’t really have time to eat it with all your running. You see Jon sitting at the dining table, waiting for you.

“You look much better,” Jon gets up and pulls your chair out for you. “Not saying you didn’t look good before, but you look happier now.”

“A good bath can make anyone happy,” you sit down and Jon joins you. “Did you make this? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cook before.”

“Living in the castle, I didn’t need to cook. But I learned,” Jon starts to eat and you follow. The food was really good. So much better than the rations in the castle. You hadn’t eaten a proper meal in...a year? You’ve been just eating to survive, not really eating for enjoyment. What had changed you so much? You used to only eat the best cuisines when you were a princess, then you went from that to only eating enough to keep yourself from fainting at all the work you had to do. You don’t think you could ever be a princess again. That lifestyle, it wasn’t who you are. It was a life you were born into. You actually liked working, you liked being independent. 

“You should teach me sometime,” you say to Jon. “I didn't get much kitchen training in the castle and I haven't really had a cooked meal in a while so it would be nice to learn.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jon raises his glass and then drinks from it.

You do the same and smile. It felt really good just being in a space where you could freely smile and not have to worry so much. Worrying had eaten away at your life. You were always afraid before and if you weren't afraid, it was because you were too busy to be afraid. 

“So what has the mighty Jon the protector been up to the past year and a half?” You ask Jon as you wash the dishes. Winter was fairly soon so Jon was checking the supplies. He probably was seeing if he had enough for two people to last the winter.

You had spend last winter in the castle. It was warm there and there was always plenty of firewood if you traded your rations wisely. You hadn't been working there for long, so the winter was lonely for you. It was nice to know you’d be spending this winter with someone. 

“Just trying to stay alive, I guess,” Jon says, washing his hands in the sink when you're done with the dishes. “I took up a few odd jobs here and there until I had enough money to build this cottage. Once this place was done, I started selling firewood that I could easily find in the forest, at the local villages and that's pretty much how I've been living.”

“That sounds like a good business, especially right now,” Jon hands you a towel and you dry your hands. “I’m happy to hear you’ve been doing well.”

“Life's a little better now that I have you back,” he smiles shyly. “I missed you.”

You touched your heart, what was this feeling? You missed him too, you knew that for sure because he was practically your best friend. But why was your heart beating so fast after he said that? 

“I missed you too,” you also say shyly. 

Jon comes up close to you and your breath catches in your throat. He was close to you, a little too close. But you were okay with it. You were actually more than okay with it. He filled the space in between you and smiled that nervous smile of his. Could your heart just stop beating for two seconds so you could think!

You had never thought about Jon, in this way before. You had met him after you met Michael and you had kept your eyes locked on Michael for so long that you never noticed Jon. Did he have...feelings for you? Did you secretly harbor feelings for him? What was this, aren't you supposed to be in love with Ryan! Ryan...wasn't he supposed to be back soon? When he finds out you aren't there-

The world was suddenly soft. Jon’s lips were soft. Incredibly soft, you hadn't realized how close he was to you until he pressed his lips directly onto yours, molding them together in perfect harmony. What was with the pounding in your chest? Or the way your arms moved to rest around his neck, pulling him in closer to you. 

What was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's the end of that! Yes, I know what you're thinking... "Wait, isn't this supposed to be a Ryan x Reader fic? I didn't sign up for this! First Michael, now Jon?? What...??" 
> 
> See, I debated a few different paths for this fic (another excuse why this update took FOREVER RIP) but I came to the conclusion that the path where there are three beautiful men who want the reader's heart was the best option LOL. It creates a lot of conflicts which progress the story. So yeah, I mean, if you guys realllllly don't like Jon, I can totally make him disappear in the next chapter xD. But you know, give the boy a chance!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryan-centric chapter! Oh how I love writing these. It's so nice seeing the other parts of the story, isn't it?

“What the fuck did you do to her?” Ryan pushes Michael up against the wall of the castle, Geoff trying his best to pull Ryan off of him.

“My king! He’s a king from a harboring kingdom, we mustn’t-”

Ryan evades Geoff and pulls Michael up by the collar and towards him, “where is she?” 

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Michael smiles. “Looks like she left you too. Join the party.”

Ryan lets go of Michael and raises a fist at him, “I swear to god I’m going to kill you.”

“Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you,” Michael says, the smile still plastered on his face, “not if you care about your kingdom.”

“What are you saying?” Ryan lowers his fist, “are you threatening me?”

“I’m not threatening you,” Michael shrugs his shoulders then looks directly into Ryan’s eyes, “I’m threatening all your citizens. If you don't find and hand over Y/N, I will go to war with your kingdom.”

“You wouldn't,” Ryan glares back.

Michael leans forward and practically spits the words in Ryan's face, “try me.”

Geoff puts his hand on Ryan’s shoulder and whispers into his ear, “sir, he caused a civil war in his kingdom, he doesn't care about his citizens. If they die, he could care less.”

Ryan clenches his fist then punches it right into the wall, nearly grazing Michael. Michael raises his hands and steps away slightly. Ryan huffs and the pain surging through his heart is unbearable. 

“So will you risk the lives of everyone in your kingdom for your precious little girl?” Michael crosses his arms, “I don't think so.”

Ryan looks over at Michael. He knows that Michael was serious. But he also knew he would be a monster if he let you back into Michael’s hands. You had come so far to get away from Michael and now he was sending you right back.

“I want an answer,” Michael’s voice is stern. “If I don't get one by tomorrow morning, I'm declaring war.”

“Why do you want her?” Ryan says straight to Michael. 

“Because she's my queen, not yours,” Michael says back, walking up to Ryan and pressing his finger against Ryan’s chest, “you don't know her like I do. She loves me, not you.”

“She doesn't love you anymore,” Ryan smacks Michael’s hand away. “What makes you think you can change her mind?”

“I have my ways,” Michael says with a smile then walks away, “you got until tomorrow. Choose wisely.”

When Michael disappears from the hallway, Ryan drops to the floor and Geoff kneels down before him.

“My king, I will follow you in whichever path you choose,” Geoff says, bowing, “but I cannot provide you with any answers at this time.”

“Geoff,” Ryan sighs, “what am I supposed to do? If I don't let him take her, he’ll kill everyone in the kingdom. If I do, I lose the love of my life and I send her back to the hell she ran away from.”

“I don't know,” Geoff sits down beside Ryan, “we lose either way.”

“She couldn't have gotten far,” Ryan says, “maybe if we-”

“We can't find her in one night,” Geoff pats Ryan on the back, “even if we did somehow find her, we would be giving her right back to him either way. You don't think he’ll just declare war, he’ll probably find a way to take her back as well. The safest bet is that she's hidden somewhere where Michael will never find her again.”

“I must be so selfish then,” Ryan rests his head on his arm, “I want her to be with me, but being with me went from the safest option to the worst possible one.”

“If you and her are meant to be, it will happen,” Geoff reassures Ryan, but he can tell Ryan is crushed. “She's just...her past is difficult.”

“For fuck’s sake, I can't let him have her,” Ryan shouts. “But I can't let him wage war for her either.”

“Here,” Geoff thinks for a bit, “how about we help him find her?”

“What the fuck are you saying Geoff?” 

“Hear me out before you get all angsty,” Geoff says, “let's help him find her and if we happen to find her, we’ll just hide her away. We can transport her out of the kingdom to a neutral zone and you can go visit her there every so often. It isn't ideal but at least you can be with her and she’ll be safe from Michael.”

“That might work in the short run, but he'll never give up on trying to find her,” Ryan leans back against the wall. “It's our best option for now, so let's do it. It’ll buy us some time to think about our other options.”

“Great,” Geoff pats Ryan again, “not great, but at least we know for now, she’s safe.” 

“Yeah…” Ryan sighs. 

He hopes you’re safe. He hopes he can keep you safe. But deep down inside, he just hopes there's a chance you both can be together again. 

So he could tell you how he felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone would like to see a Michael-centric chapter, please do comment! I would be happy to write one, I think it would be quite interesting hehe. <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jon-centric chapter! Yes! <3 my baby boy, I was not kind to him this chapter...

_ Earlier... _

Jon rubs his eyes and sees that you’re still sleeping soundly by the fire. He glances out the window and sees that it's early morning; the sun has barely risen. He brushes the hair away from your face and picks you up, bringing you upstairs. When he's finished tucking you into bed, you mumble something in your sleep.

He leans forward to hear what you're saying but he suddenly feels your hands on his face and a tug forward. His lips crash against yours and he pulls away, slightly shocked. 

“Ryan…” leaves your lips before you fall back asleep. 

Jon looks at you and sighs. He presses a kiss on your forehead and walks out of your room, shutting the door behind him. He then clutches his heart, a stabbing pain hitting him.

“Why do you always fall for those kings?” He says to himself as he walks back downstairs. He doesn't know why, but his body won't steady. He can barely make it down the stairs before slowly breaking down. He holds tightly onto the rails and breathes heavily.

“Fuck this heart,” he exhales, breathing has suddenly become painful. “Why didn't you just tell her you loved her before?”

The tears are uncontrollable and he just lets it all out. It was a crushing sight. He was one of the top recruits at the academy. He was well versed in all forms of combat. He had survived torture training and has been tortured before. And yet, the fact that you were in love with another man, again, crushed him more than any wound he has ever sustained in his life. 

Jon would ask himself repeatedly, why not him? Why not him? He was always there for you. He was there when you got hurt. He was there when you got better. He was always there. Why didn't you see him? 

“I’m just a protector to you,” he sighs, wiping the tears from his eyes.

You never saw Jon as a man. In your mind, he was always your protector. He kept you safe, helped you get back in your feet when you were down, and was always there for you. But you never saw him as a man, you never thought of loving him. That's what hurt him most, the fact that you may never see him as anything else. 

When you had told him that he was your friend, he didn't know how to feel. It wasn't too much of a shock, but being friendly with you wasn't what he wanted either. He just wanted a chance to love you the way he knew you deserved to be loved. He was tired of watching you love these kings. They didn't know how to treat you well. They didn't know what you liked. They didn't know you the way he knew you. 

If only you knew how much Jon loved you, how he would never stop thinking about you, how your death had affected him. Michael was right, he had no meaning without you. You were his everything. 

Jon stands back up and pinches himself. He grabs some silver coins he’s been saving up so he could go into town and buy you some clothing and other winter supplies. He took a deep breath before heading out, trying to get away from the depression that practically turned his once warm heart black.

When he was in town, he went into several boutiques and picked out clothes he knew you’d like. He was stuck watching all of your fittings as princess anyways, so he knew your style. He smiled to himself, remembering the time you had to dress up for a ball and your dress sparkled. You made him take your hand and dance with you, twirling you around in your beautiful ball gown. It was in that moment, he wanted to tell you everything. You were so beautiful and you were in his arms. You were right there, your arms around his neck, his arms around your waist, dancing to imaginary music, laughing like crazy. 

“She's a lucky lady,” the woman at the desk says to Jon.

Jon snaps out of his thoughts, “oh! Yes, quite a beauty.”

He pays the lady and then walks out to grab winter supplies. There was a huge crowd in the town square and Jon stands in the back, wondering what all the fuss is about. 

“What's going on?” Jon asks a nearby villager.

“King Ryan has just announced a search for Queen Y/N of the harboring kingdom!” 

“Excuse me?” Jon says, overly shocked but tries to calm down, “what do you mean? I thought she was dead?”

“I thought so too,” the villager points at the official declaration posted in the middle of the town square, “but apparently she’s alive and hiding in this kingdom somewhere so the King Michael has announced a huge reward whoever delivers her to him, and his efforts are being supported by King Ryan.”

Jon makes his way through the crowd and looks at the declaration for himself. It was real. There was even a professional sketch of what you looked like and descriptions of who you were and your habits. Why would King Ryan let this happen…? Does Ryan actually love you?

Jon quickly makes the rest of his purchases and rushes back to the house. He had to prepare in case someone came looking for you and in the case someone recognized him. He was thankful that he had his house enchanted by a good friend of his to hide it in the forest so as long as you stayed in his house, you were safe. But keeping you there would be the difficult part. 

“How do I convince her to stay with me?” Jon scratches his head. “She said she'd stay, but for how long? She’ll want to go see Ryan and apologize for disappearing. How do I keep her with me?”

Then it hits him. He could make you stay if you fell in love with him. If you loved him, you wouldn't leave. He could keep you safe forever, away from the madness. Jon takes a deep breath.

“Let me love you,” he says into the air. “Please, just let me love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this entire chapter just makes me HURT like omg. I imagine Jon as Shawn Mendes singing Treat You Better. Crushes the soul, because you know, I crush souls. Sorry? Stay tuned for what's to come next.


	14. Chapter 14

Jon's lips leave yours and he rests his forehead against yours, sighing on your lips. 

His soft blue eyes look into yours, “I've always wanted to do that.”

You pull away slowly and unconsciously touch your lips. Then your hand goes to your heart. Your eyes look back up at Jon and you didn't know what to do. You were just so confused. There was a feeling making its way through your body and it wasn't necessarily bad...but it was daunting. 

“You’re hiding something from me, aren't you?” Your thoughts vocalize themselves without you having any say. It was true. You knew Jon and you knew when he was trying to protect you from something. 

Jon’s eyes answer your question for you as he sighs with a small smile, “I can never hide anything from you.”

“Only your feelings, I suppose,” you smile, reaching up to touch his cheek. “Jon I can't-”

“Don't,” he says, stopping your mid-sentence, “please, not right now.”

“Okay,” you nod, “we won't talk about it. Just tell me what you're hiding.”

“Ryan is looking for you,” Jon starts.

“He is?” Your voice heightens, though you try to not sound too excited, you can almost feel Jon’s heart breaking. Oh god… Not now, don't think about Jon now. You’ll only hurt him more.

“Let me finish,” Jon clears his throat and then says, “he’s looking for you so he can hand you over to Michael.”

You step back slightly at that statement. You shake your head, in denial. This couldn't possibly be true. Why would Ryan do that?

“It’s posted in the middle of every townsquare in the kingdom. Your face, a bounty, and specific instructions to give you back to Michael. I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry,” Jon walks back up to you and tries to comfort you but you just keep stepping back until your back hits the wall. 

Your body can no longer stand so you slide down to the floor. This couldn't be true, how could it be true?! And yet, as you glimpse up at Jon’s eyes, you knew he wasn't lying. The tears began to fall and your heart sank so fast, you couldn't breathe. 

“W-why,” you cry softly, covering your face with your hands, “why would he do that to me?”

“Did he know?” Jon kneels before you, resting his hand on yours, which you take willingly. It's warm and comforting, like the old days. “About you and Michael?”

You slowly shook your head and sobbed more profoundly, trying to explain through the tears, “I was just a maid. I couldn't tell him I was a princess, let alone the would-be bride of King Michael. I just-I just, why would he…”

Jon grips both of your hands close to his chest and you collapse against him, letting him hold you tightly. You cry for what feels like ages into his chest, unable to process any of your emotions. The man you loved, the man you  _ thought _ you loved, was giving you away to a demon. Did you mean anything to him? 

“He saw my scars Jon,” your sniffles filling the small kitchen, “he should've known what horrors await me back in that kingdom, so I don't understand why he would do such a thing!”

Jon lightly kisses the top of your head and rubs your back, “I wish I knew. I wish I had all the answers so I could give them to you and maybe then, you’ll feel better. But I don't have any answers for you, so all I can say is I’m sorry.”

You feel his hands move you off of him for a split second, just so he can wipe your tears away with his thumb. In a way, a part of you knew that even though you were sad, the way Jon was looking at you made you realize how sad he was too. 

“I wanted to protect you,” Jon entangled his fingers into yours, gripping them, never wanting to let go, “I didn't want you to find out because I knew you’d be heartbroken and god, I could never break your heart.”

It takes every bit of Jon’s strength to get out the next part of his speech.

“It breaks my heart seeing you with a broken heart.”

“Jon,” his name leaves your lips in such a subtle breath that if he wasn't so captivated by you, he would've missed it. 

He nods to your call, like a lost child searching for a dream. You don't know what to say. You can't feel anything, not right now. Your heart was truly broken, for the second time in your life. First, it was your first love, your Michael, who became so consumed in his rage, so consumed by false accusations and lies that you could no longer love him because he was not the man you love. And now, Ryan, a man who you thought you knew, who you thought had opened up to you and given you his heart, but it seems like you had given up your own heart and he took it and stomped on it. 

“Close your eyes,” you breathe into the air, watching as Jon listens and shuts his eyes. “For right now, let’s stay like this, eyes shut, and forget about the feelings that are hurting us so.”

You and Jon sit there, eyes shut, your head resting against his shoulder, his hand holding yours, just listening to slow breathing and the leaves rustling outside. You can barely tell how much time had passed. You couldn't care less, actually. All you wanted was for the pain sitting in your chest to go away and that took time. 

Your dreams were filled with Ryan. His smile had somehow imprinted itself in your mind; you couldn't get it out of your head. Everything about him overwhelmed you in your dreams. You remembered him so clearly, so lovingly. He had his flaws but you loved him. Or you at least thought you did. How could you love someone who was willing to give you away, especially to Michael? The more you thought about it, the more it felt unreal. But it couldn't be fake, you knew Jon, you trusted Jon. But you needed to see it for yourself. 

When your eyes open again, you're laying in bed, with Jon’s head resting besides you. He was sitting in a chair, body hunched over, head rested in his arms, as if waiting for you to rise. You brush his hair back, watching it flow beautifully. He nudges slightly at this motion and gradually lifts his head, waking up. Your hand still combs through his hair. 

“I’m glad you didn't cut it,” you say, tugging lightly at the ends. “It suits you.”

“It may be too soon to ask but…” Jon moves your hand off his hair and back into his, “are you feeling better?”

You try to laugh but it comes out strangely, followed by a sigh, “I don't think I’m going to feel better anytime soon. But I know I will be once I get closure.”

“Closure?” Jon questions you, “you don't mean… Going to Ryan’s castle?”

“Heavens no!” You say, comforting Jon, who is incredibly worried, “I couldn't possibly, not with Michael there. But I need to see it for myself, this bounty. If it is indeed real…”

“Y/N,” Jon makes you look directly at him, “it's in the middle of townsquare. What if someone realizes it’s you? They could turn you in…or worse.”

“I don't think I have any other choice Jon. If I never see it, I couldn't stay here. My mind would never let it go, always wondering why. Once I see it, I’ll understand. But I  _ need _ to see it.”

Jon lets go of your hand and walks away from you, making you feel incredibly lonely all of a sudden. When he returns, he is holding his sword and a cloak. He begins to suit up, making you think back to escorts. It was the same routine. Put his sword away. Lace up his boots. Fix his collar. Then swing the cloak over his shoulders, elegantly. 

But this time, as the cloak swings over and Jon puts the hood on, he instantly disappears. You gasp, looking around for him. 

You whisper, “Jon? Are you still here?”

A whisper comes from right next to you, “maybe.”

The hood falls off and Jon reappears next to you on the bed, smiling, “cool trick, huh?”

“Where did you get that!” You feel the cloak’s fabric with your fingertips, “that's a mighty enchantment.”

“A friend of mine owed me a favor, so he made me this. He tailored it specifically to me, so I’m the only one who can use it. I’ll guide you from the shadows to the town square and protect you. If any trouble comes your way, I’ll be right there to help you.”

You can't help but wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in for a big hug. His arms wrap around your waist, holding you gently. You feel his hands shake against your skin, nervous. 

“I’m not going anywhere Jon,” you reassure him, “never again. I can't lose you twice.”

His hands steady slightly at your words and you let out a quiet sigh of relief. 

“Thank you,” you smile at him, “for always being there for me.”

“It's my pleasure,” Jon smiles. 

Now that you knew his feelings for you, you couldn't help view the way he looks at you differently. His mouth smiles but his eyes say ‘don't go’. If only you could live with yourself if you didn't go. 

It was time to head out into town and see who is after your bounty. 


	15. Chapter 15

“It's just a little more, past this shop,” Jon whispers to you, still not visible to the naked eye. 

You nod to him, though technically yourself, and continue your slow pace towards the bounty, matching the walking speed of the people around you. You and Jon haven't talked much the whole way, besides directions. You couldn't talk to him without putting too much attention on yourself so you avoid it altogether. 

Thankfully, your clothes hid yourself pretty well. It was barely nightfall and the street lamps have already been lit, being the one source of light. As long as you avoided those, no one would get a clear shot of your face. You kept your head down as you passed by people, hoping not to get noticed. So far, everyone seemed more concerned about themselves than of you. 

Once you make it to the sign, you read it for yourself. Everything Jon said was true. There was a sketch of you and a reward. It was stamped with two official seals, one indicating Michael and the other indicating Ryan. A symbol of alliance, of mutual trust in a mission. This was all the proof you needed and it made your heart burn like the oil in the lamps that lit the night. 

“Let's go home,” you whisper to Jon, your tone slightly, no, very, hurt. 

You turn around and head back, only to come a foot away from someone, who is eyeing you closely. Your eyes widen and you back up. Whoever the person was, they were taking a long, hard look at you. 

“It's you!” He shouts, “it's the princess!” 

“No!” You say back, quietly, “I'm-I’m not-”

“It's her,” he says to the crowd forming around you, “from the bounty.”

A man, who is holding a torch, swings it in front of you, revealing your face in the darkness. The crowd knew who you were now. This is bad, very, very bad.

“Please,” you put your hand forward, trying to keep the crowd from closing in on you, “don't do this.”

“We’ve sent a lot of girls up to the castle,” the villagers chant, “but now we have the true princess!”

In a rush, Jon pulls down his hood and reveals himself to the crowd, in the middle of it. He has not drawn his sword yet. You watch carefully as he clears you a path, fighting the villagers that are in your way. Once he is able to make an opening for you, he shouts, “run, Y/N, run! I’ll keep them at bay!”

You know he will be okay. Right? You listen to him and sprint, taking your opening. A villager manages to grab onto your shirt, ripping the side of it slightly, pulling a chunk of fabric with them. But you keep your cool and keep sprinting towards the forest. If you hit just the right part in time, you would disappear and they would never find you. You just had to make it. 

You could feel the people chasing after you. You had a strong head start but they were going to catch up to you eventually. You decided that you would lose them in the trees. Making rounds to confuse them, you make your way through part of the forest with only a few people still actively searching for you, but they're miles away. As you sprint, you take another good look behind you. No one, they're gone. You feel so relieved.

Until you hit someone,  _ hard _ .

Your body slams against this person and you fall back, only to be caught by their arms. You scream, eyes shut in fear, pushing them away.

“Get off me!” You shout, shoving them hard enough for you to slip out of their hold. 

When you finally look up, your eyes meet. He had bags under his and they were so tired. And you knew those blue eyes anywhere. And that soft face and those pink lips. It was him.

“Y/N,” Ryan says, walking towards you, “I’ve been looking for you for ages.”

He comes up to you but you put your arms up defensively, “don't come near me. Don't you dare come near me.”

Ryan reaches his hand out to touch your arm, “what's-”

“No!” You say, choking back the tears. “Don't you dare think you can touch me after  _ you _ put a bounty on my head!”

You let him see you cry. Your eyes filled with tears, them streaming down your face. You want him to see the pain he’s caused you. You couldn't even feel happy to see him. There was so much built up emotion inside of you that you couldn't control yourself. You were just so angry and sad and… 

“Why’d you do it Ryan?” You cry. “Why did you have to go out and hand me back to Michael?”

“I’m not!” Ryan says, “please listen to me.”

“Why should I listen to you?” You scream at him angrily. “Why should I listen to someone who wants to send me back to the hell from which I came?”

“Because I love you!” He shouts back at you, matching your tone. 

You're taken back by his sudden confession. You blink, trying to get a hold of the situation. Then you look into his eyes and you know he’s saying the truth. 

“You love me?” You stutter your words, “then-then why give me back to him? How could you say you love me when-”

“I’m not going to give you back, I would never give you back,” Ryan walks up to you. “Oh Y/N, if only you knew how much I loved you.”

His hand gently caresses your face and you let him, melting back into his warm touch. There was a longing in the air, and you both felt it. He leans down to kiss you but you stop him. You just-you just couldn't kiss him without knowing.

“Why did you put a bounty on my head then?” You stare deeply into his eyes. 

“I had to,” Ryan sighs, “he threatened to go to war with the kingdom if I didn't help find you and hand you over.”

“What…” was all you could say. How could Michael make such a threat? There were people’s lives at stake! What happened to Michael… How could he have become such a monster? 

Ryan pulls you into a hug and you hold him tightly, “I’m sorry if I caused you any pain. I didn't mean to. I wish I could've been able to explain… That's why I've been searching for you, day and night, hoping to find you before him. And now you're here, right in front of me, but look at all the pain I put you through.”

You were so tired of crying but the tears couldn't stop flowing as you clutched onto him, “Ryan, I was so-I don't know. It hurt so much thinking you would so easily give me away.”

He gently rubs your back, “I’m so sorry. I should've found you quicker. I should've explain to you. I should've… I should've told you how I felt before I left.”

Ryan pulls you out of his arms to look at you. He holds your face in his hands and wipes away your tears, just taking in the sight of you. He missed you so much more than you could believe. You saw it in his tired eyes; he had been searching for you nonstop. You reach up to touch his face, feeling how much Ryan has grown in such a short period of time. 

“I feared Michael would find you before I could tell you that I love you,” Ryan sighs into your hand, “I couldn't stop looking for you, not until I found you.”

“Then look no further,” you say to him. “I'm right here Ryan.” 

You pull him down and kiss him. Your lips long for his and it feels right to have him against you again. Your heart skips a beat and you can't help but sigh at his soft touch. 

You say against his lips, “I love you too.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we have it, Michael's perspective! Now, aren't we in for a fun ride?

It still keeps him up at night. The insomnia was impossible to deal with. And whenever he could sleep, he always woke up in a jolt. You filled his dreams. The image of you, loving him, is imprinted in his mind. And he knows, when he sees you looking at him like you love him, that he's dreaming. He will always wake up when you invade his dreams. Because that's what you are to him, a dream.

“Michael!” You say, smiling at his sleepy face. “What are you doing still in bed?”

Leaning over him, you pinch his cheek and he wakes in a rush, “what-what's going on? Oh, it's you.”

“Don't it's you me-” you barely get your sentence out when he takes you by the waist and drags you into bed with him, covering you in the warm sheets. His lips land softly against yours. He starts to laugh and you do too. 

“The real question is, why are you out of bed?” He asks you, brushing your messed up hair flat. 

“It’s almost noon!” You lay your head on his chest. “We’re supposed to be getting lunch by now.”

“I don't understand why you insist on waiting for me to eat with you,” Michael shakes his head with a grin on his face. 

You sit up and tickle his stomach, “because, silly, we’re supposed to be in love. People who are in love eat together.”

There's where his eyes always widen. It's always that line ‘we’re supposed to be in love’ that makes him question where he is. And that's when he realizes it's a dream.

That's when he wakes up.

Michael suddenly gets up and looks next to him. You aren't there, as per usual. He touches the sheets beside him, cold. They were always cold. He puts his face in his hands and screams. 

“Not again! Fuck,” he shouts, laying back down against the sheets with a thud. He covers his face with his hand and sighs. His other hand touches his heart, which is still beating fast. “Why can't I sleep in peace?”

He knows the answer to that question, which is why he always regrets asking it. In Michael’s head, he doesn't know when the rage started. After his parents’ sudden death, he acquired the kingdom and just went mad. He was a week away from marrying you and… It overwhelmed him. This fury, this fire, it built up inside of him and blew up. There were so many things he doesn't remember doing. Especially the things you claimed he had done to you. Michael can't recall any of those after the rush. He couldn't believe he had done any of those things. How could he! He loved you! And yet, whenever he would wake up from his sudden fit of rage, he would come to visit you and see you in pain, suffering from God knows what. 

Did he do that to you? He always asked that question, clutching his head, wanting to rip his hair out of his head. 

Much like when he had threatened war with Ryan, he doesn't remember doing any of that. Why would he threaten war? He wanted to find you, but not at the cost of his people. He cared for his people, he was their king. Or…at least he believed he cared for them. There are stories he hears, when he is in his fit of rage, where he treats his citizens like trash. 

It was all so confusing to him. He only could ever think about it all when he had insomnia. When he wakes up, he's always in a daze. His actions are controlled by emotion, not by his own will. It is only these small moments at night that he somehow has to himself-

“My King!” Jeremy’s voice echoes into the room as the door swings open. 

“Yes?” Michael says, a little too alert. Jeremy looks at him strangely but shakes it off.

“I think we may have a lead on the princess,” he walks up to Michael, bowing. “Remember the princess’s old protector? My spies spotted him with the princess in the nearby town.”

“Do we have her?” Michael immediately asks.

“No..” Jeremy begins to say, “but we have him. He had fought off some of my spies to let her get away but we captured him soon after.”

“He fought long enough for her to get away,” Michael says his thoughts aloud, not meaning to. He quickly catches himself and says, “where is he now?”

“We’re keeping him at our camp, since you said you didn't fully trust Ryan. If Ryan knew who he was to the princess, he could possibly escape.”

“Understood,” Michael nods, “I want to see him in the morning.”

“Are you sure that's what you want to do?” Jeremy says, looking at Michael. “Why don't we have him killed?”

Michael feels strange with Jeremy’s eyes on him. They were strangely captivating but at the same time made him woozy. His mind starts to spin and he can barely get a thought in his head. His blood begins to boil, his mind begins to fill with fire.

“That protector of hers, Jon, he's been nothing but trouble,” Jeremy’s voice fills Michael’s mind. “He's been trying to keep her away from you, when she's your fiancé, not his. She's not his to protect. She’s yours, right?”

Michael grinds his teeth, clenching his fist, “yeah, Y/N isn't his. Who does he think he is? Trying to stop me from being with her?”

“You want him dead, don’t you?”

“I do,” Michael declares. “I want that protector dead.”

“Your wish is my command,” Jeremy smiles. “Now you should be getting back to sleep. Our problems will be solved in the morning.”

At that, Michael immediately falls asleep. Jeremy rolls his eyes and walks over to close the door to the bedroom, looking out to make sure no one was around. He steps back towards Michael, seeing that he is fully knocked out. 

Jeremy goes towards where Ryan’s concubines are, knocking on the first door a specific amount of times. The door clicks open and he enters, smiling at Meg.

“The plan is slowly progressing again,” he says, leaning his back against the wall.

“Finally,” she rolls her eyes. “That princess is more trouble than I thought she'd be. I told you we should've killed her in the first place.”

“Not everyone can do their job perfect,” Jeremy says to Meg. “All you had to do was make sure Ryan was tied around your finger and you ended up concubine, not wife. You couldn't even progress to Lady status.”

“Shut up,” Meg raises her fist at Jeremy, “my magic isn't as powerful as yours. His fits of rage are cleared almost instantaneously if he just talks to another person. Plus there are more eyes on me here, no one ever sees you because you’re always beside Michael. I’m barely ever with Ryan so sorry my impact is taking a while.”

“How much longer do you think it’ll take you?” Jeremy asks. 

“When Y/N is dead, Ryan will be weak enough for me to conquer,” Meg brushes off her shirt, “piece of cake.”

“It seems like the same here as well,” Jeremy sighs, “I really should've killed her in the forest.”

“I don't know what you were trying to accomplish by keeping her alive,” Meg crosses her arms. “She's nothing but trouble.”

“She is his weakness,” Jeremy states, “I could barely keep him at bay during the time we thought she was dead. I had to plant that sick idea that maybe she was alive in his head just to keep him going. We got lucky it turned out to be true.”

“Well it's time to take her out of the equation, permanently,” Meg smiles. “Is Jon the trap?”

“He risked his life protecting her today,” Jeremy laughs, “if she doesn't fall for the bait, she must be cold-hearted.”

“We both know her problem is that she’s too lovable.”

“Which makes her a fool,” Jeremy walks over to the door, “I’ll tell you how his execution goes.”

“I look forward to it.”

As Jeremy leaves the room, Michael tosses and turns in bed. His dreams were frightening whenever he wasn't dreaming about you. He sees himself inflicting pain on others. His own actions in his dreams scare him.

The sad part is that they aren't dreams. They’re his memories, the ones he can't remember during the haze. They come back to haunt him in his dreams. 

And when he's put to sleep, he can't wake up until it's morning. He's stuck watching his memories until then. 

“Please,” your voice echoes in his ears, “I love you. Don't do this.”

It breaks his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot THICKENS! It's all been leading up to this! (Did anyone see this coming? I know I didn't hehe)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES! I FINALLY UPDATED! GO ME!!! *a million pieces of confetti fall from the sky*

“It's over here,” you walk up to Jon’s cottage, “this is where I've been hiding out.”

“Enchanted?” Ryan asks.

“Yeah,” you reply, knocking on the door. “Jon said a good friend of his helped him with it.”

As you continue to knock on the door, Ryan continues to question, “so Jon was your bodyguard?”

You nod, testing the doorknob. The door was unlocked and you walked inside, Ryan following behind. You call out to Jon, but no reply. Where is he? He should've been back by-oh fuck.

“Jon!” You yell, your voice echoing throughout the house, “Jon!”

He doesn't answer. He's not here. 

“Where is he?” 

“I-” you search the place, going upstairs. He isn't there.

“Did you see him break off away from the crowd? Was he trailing you?”

You come back downstairs and shake your head, “I don't think he broke free. They have him.”

“Michael?”

You nod with such a strong sense of fear, “he won't survive the morning.”

“Is that traditional execution style for your kingdom?” 

“Daybreak,” you explain. “All executions happen right when the sun has risen.”

Ryan looks out the window at the sky, “that doesn't give us long.”

“We don't even know where they could be holding him!” You say, having to take a seat, “oh god, what have I done?”

Ryan comes up next to you, “you haven't done anything, Y/N. Jon chose to save you.”

You shake your head, “he shouldn't have. All I've done is cause him more trouble. He must be so lonely, so scared, so-”

You can't bring yourself to say heart-broken as you lock eyes with Ryan. With all this in mind, you can't even think about your own emotions. You needed to focus on how to get Jon out. 

“There's only one way out,” you say directly to Ryan.

“No, Y/N, no,” Ryan knows what you're thinking.

“It's the only way,” you whimper. “I have to go back. They’ll free him in exchange for me. And when they do, I want you to protect him in your kingdom. Please, Ryan. Help me save him.”

“I just got you back,” Ryan holds your hands against his chest, “I literally just got you back and now I have to give you away?”

“We don't have any other choice,” you tell him sincerely. “I can't let anyone else be hurt because of me. If we don't do this, Michael will wage war. He wants me to turn myself in, he knows I care about Jon.”

“What happens then?” Ryan looks at you with tearful eyes. “He takes you away from me, to a life you don't want to live. I can't save you because I risk waging war with him. I lose the love of my life.”

“I wish there was another way,” you can't bare to look at Ryan. “A way where we had some choice in the matter but we’re running out of time. We need to stop this execution.”

Ryan’s reply echoes in your mind, “alright.”

You look back up at him and hug him tightly. He takes the moment to hold you close, trying to remember this warmth, your warmth. He pulls you away to kiss you, laying the softest kiss you've ever felt on your lips. You would remember the way his lips felt on yours forever. You would remember Ryan forever. 

“They’re most likely holding him at their main camp,” Ryan breaks off to go into strategy mode. “If I find my horse, we should be able to get there before sunrise.”

“Let's go find that horse,” you get up and walk towards the door. Once the door is opened, Ryan’s horse pokes it's head into the cottage. 

“Or let him find us,” Ryan chuckles. “The cottage must only be enchanted to threats.”

Ryan walks out and gets up on his horse, putting his hand out. You grab onto it reluctantly, knowing that this is the end. He pulls you up behind him.

“We’ll see each other again,” Ryan insures you. “Nothing could keep me away.”

You nod against his back and hold him tightly as you both speed towards the camp to save Jon. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG MORE THAN ONE CHAPTER UPDATE FUCK YEAH GO ME <33333

Meg sits eagerly in her room, waiting for the sun to rise. She knew once the sun rose, you would be dead. Once you were gone, she could have Ryan all to herself again so that she could begin her manipulation. She wanted the power Jeremy had over Michael. 

Meg never understood why Jeremy wanted to keep you alive in the first place. He, of all people, knew how weak someone can get after death. It was Jeremy who killed Michael’s parents, after all. Jeremy had done it to insure that Michael would listen to his every command. Michael had exhibited his first bits of rage after hearing the news of his parents’ murder. After Michael gained the throne, Jeremy needed a way to keep Michael angry so he implanted the thought that perhaps one of the civilians had plotted the death of his parents. This idea allowed Michael’s rage to blossom, to which Jeremy used to his advantage. But in order to keep Michael at bay, Jeremy needed you. 

You had become both a necessity and an issue when it came to this. Jeremy needed you alive to keep Michael’s emotional levels sporadic, allowing him to feed Michael with reasons to be filled with rage. But you were also the only one who could stop all of this. That's why he had to keep you and Michael as far away from each other as possible.

You never feel out of love with Michael, you were forced out by Jeremy. He needed you to believe you weren't in love with Michael, so that he could enrage Michael with speculative thoughts and possessive behaviors, all things Michael has never inhabited before. That's why when you faked your death, Jeremy nearly lost control. Michael was overwhelmed with sadness that he had no room for rage. Michael was worthless to Jeremy if he wasn't a bloodthirsty monarch. So Jeremy planted the idea that your death was a hoax, merely another one of your games. It's funny how real life works out like this. 

When you showed up in the castle, Meg was already confined to the concubine chambers. She didn't know of your presence until your promotion. She notified Jeremy immediately and their plans were back into motion. Little did Meg realize that you were going to interfere so much with her plans. After you stole Ryan’s heart, Meg was neglected and had no way of being able to use her abilities like Jeremy could. 

“All this power, trapped inside a room.”

Meg looks around her room for the source of the voice. 

“Who's there?” She says, “it better not be you, Jeremy.”

Meg walks up to her door, pressing her ear against it. 

“You know, you were always my favorite.”

Ah yes, she knew that voice. She’s know that voice anywhere.

“Gavin,” she smiles, turning around, “surprise to see you here.”

Gavin sits where Meg previously sat, “I have been looking for you for quite some time now.”

“Now why’s that?” 

“It’s funny,” Gavin says, walking towards Meg. “How students just assume they can leave with large quantities of magic, without paying the price.”

“Don't you give me that shit,” Meg snaps at Gavin, “this is my magic. I created it and I can use it how I please.”

“It could've been your magic,” Gavin explains, “all you had to do was lure Jeremy and wipe his dark magic. It was your final task. But instead, you allowed the darkness to tempt you.”

Meg stands there in protest, “that isn't true!”

“Why, it is though,” Gavin smirks, his palms up. They begin to glow, “why do you think you haven't been able to manipulate Ryan? Because you don't have time with him? You had plenty of time with him. Admit it, you stopped using light magic and started practicing the dark arts, forces beyond your control. You seeked guidance from Jeremy, but his could not provide you with a clear path so now your only hope is that Ryan’s heart will be so writhe with despair that your magic might be able to penetrate his skin. I am so ashamed of you, Meg. You could've been so much more than this low life mage.”

“You never told me about this kind of power,” Meg shouts at Gavin. “Jeremy can rule an entire kingdom without lifting a finger, while all you do is put up protective layers on people’s houses. I don't want to be like you.”

“Then don't be,” Gavin lifts his hands up towards Meg. “I’m here to insure that we will soon be nothing alike.”

A bright light shines from inside Meg’s heart and the beam shoots out in a wave, being consumed by Gavin. He is taking all of her light magic away. All her training lost because she craved a power she could not have. Now Gavin will leave her as the dark shell of a person she is. 

“Without the light shining in your heart, the darkness will eat you alive,” Gavin opens the door. “It's a slow and painful process, but that's what you get for stealing from me.”

Meg drops to the floor, darkness consuming her entire being. She tries to push it out, attempting to cast spells to release the darkness from inside of her. But it wouldn't come out, her magic had no host. It just further used her body until her veins turn black and her eyes hollow out. 

Gavin turns back to see his dear student writhing on the floor of the cell she created for herself. His heart aches as he looks at the light in his palm, the light he took from her. But if he knew one thing, it was that he had to take it from her. Her suffering was something he had no control over. 

That is the price of dark magic. 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I don't know WHY it took me so long to add in Gavin's character...literally the only reason why my writer's block cleared up was that I REMEMBER WHAT CHARACTER I WANTED GAVIN TO BE!!! Anyways, here's more haha!

Jeremy wasn't always a dark magician. He never meant to be. It was true that he was trained in the dark arts, but he never meant to use it. However, as we just saw with Meg, dark magic consumed the body if not used. It was a tragedy that he was forced to practice the dark arts. 

But being evil sometimes comes naturally.

Many dark magicians roam the lands, taking over kingdom from the bottom up. Jeremy was a success story, taking over a kingdom from the top and keeping it in his rule. With Michael as his magic’s host, he could maintain his life force without feeling the darkness flowing within him.

In a way, he was scared. He knew what the darkness would do if he stopped using it. By taking over Michael, the darkness is subdued in a vessel. Jeremy could not feel it piercing through his body so he did not feel bad for letting it consume Michael. He knew in his heart that someone had to pay the price. He just didn't want it to be him.

The reason Michael feels trapped at night is so that Jeremy can sleep. But tonight, Jeremy would not be able to sleep. He had too much planned out to rest. 

“You won't win,” Jon says to Jeremy, snapping Jeremy from his thoughts. 

“How can you be so sure?” Jeremy turns back to Jon, smiling mischievously. 

“Because she knows where her happy ending lays,” Jon’s heart is heavy. “So me being here is just giving her more time to escape.”

“You’re so confident you know what she wants,” Jeremy laughs. “Is that why you begged her to stay with you? Is that why you kissed her?”

“How do you-fuck,” Jon clutches his head, feeling a sharp pain. He screams, “get out of my head!”

“What a sweet thought to end your life with,” Jeremy approaches Jon. “How tragic. The story of a bodyguard who fell in love with his princess, when she was obviously in love with someone else. And yet, he still has hope.”

Jon stares angrily at Jeremy, tugging at the chains that holds him against the wall.

With a flick of the wrist, Jeremy says, “sleep.”

Jon’s arms goes limp and his eyes close. His body stays suspended and he is knocked out unconscious.

Jeremy rolls his eyes and leaves the underground cell to emerge back on the surface.

One of the knights runs up to Jeremy, “should we begin the preparations?”

“As tradition holds, executions start at sunrise,” Jeremy winks, “let's not break tradition now. Wouldn't want our king to be angry.”

“No sir,” the knight bows and Jeremy passed him. 

_ Only moments until sunrise.  _

Jeremy enters his tent and immediately collapses onto his bed, gripping his heart. What was this feeling that was overwhelming him? He looks at his hand and there it is. A feeling oh so familiar. 

“Shit,” Jeremy clenches his fist, trying to stop the darkness from rushing through his body. “Someone’s trying to free Michael.”

Thoughts flood his mind on how he could've been so carelessly. He had made all the necessary precautions. How did this happen!

Then he remembers. What a foolish act of petty! He wasted some of his energy on silencing Jon. That was enough to weaken his hold on everything else, meaning the protective fortress he embedded over the camp could be penetrated.

“Stupid,” he cusses to himself, trying to regain his grip. He ultimately fails as another, much stronger wave of darkness overwhelms him. 

Jeremy needed to make a choice. If he went after Michael, there's no saying he would survive. He knows who’s there waiting for him. But it was too late to find a host now, at least a host that would last…

“I guess he might be dead earlier than anticipated,” Jeremy carries himself off his bed and starts his limp back to the underground cell. “But I need to do this.”

Jon is still hanging from the wall, deep asleep. Jeremy unlocks the door and puts all his energy into rushes to Jon. He presses his hand on Jon’s chest.

“She never saw you as anything but a knight,” Jeremy whispers into his ear. “Now you will finally serve your purpose, you will die for her.”

Jeremy can feel the weight get lifted off of his body as Jon’s eyes flutter open for a moment and then he says…

“Yes, I will die for her.”


	20. Chapter 20

Gavin closes the door behind him and lets out a sad sigh. He then walks over to Michael, who is shaking in his sleep.

“My boy,” Gavin sits beside him, brushing the hair away from Michael’s face. It was sticky from his panic sweats and Gavin sighed even more heavily. 

“I knew I shouldn't have left you,” a light flows from Gavin’s head and it presses up against Michael’s forehead. “I should've been there for you.”

There was a fear that crept inside Gavin. He took Meg’s light magic for good purpose, but he also did it to save Michael. The only way to expel dark magic is to counter it with light magic or to kill the source. Gavin knew Michael’s time was running out. There was no way Michael would be able to take the dark magic eating him alive any longer.

“I hope this works,” Gavin pushes all the light magic he took from Meg into Michael. 

Michael’s veins light up on one side of this body. The other side is black as night, his veins protruding. He was fighting himself.

“Come on Michael,” Gavin urges. “You can do this, boy.”

With a loud gasp, Michael shocks himself awake. Gavin touches his skin and it glows back light. The dark magic was officially forced out. 

“Gavin?” Michael says with surprise. “I haven't seen you since…”

“I know,” Gavin snaps his fingers and Michael’s sweat vanishes, “since I went off to start teaching.”

“What's going on?” Michael puts his hand on his head, “my head hurts like fucking hell.”

“So much has happened Michael,” Gavin helps him up. “And you're the only one who can stop it.”

The memories flash through Michael's mind and they pierce him like daggers. 

“Shit,” Michael shakes his head, “what have I done?”

“It wasn't your doing.”

“It was,” Michael punches the wall, “I’m the one who hired him. I wanted someone close to my age, like you. Fuck, that was stupid..trying to replace-”

“Your best friend,” Gavin laughs. 

“Oh shut up,” Michael chuckles and breathes in and out. “I’ll be fine but we need to go.”

“What's the rush?”

Michael looks at Gavin and says, “I think I sent Jon to be executed.” 

“What?” Gavin yells, “why would you do that!”

“It wasn't me! It was...fuck,” Michael slaps himself, hard. “It was Jeremy who manipulated me into saying it, but…”

“Ah,” Gavin nods, “you found out.”

“Found out?” Michael looks at Gavin puzzled.

“That Jon is in love with Y/N.”

Now it was Michael’s turn to say, “what?”

“I just dug myself a grave, didn't I?” Gavin hit himself in the head. “I shouldn't have-”

“It's fine,” Michael replies, grabbing his fighting gear. “After what I did to her, she deserves to have the chance to love someone else. Hell, I think she already has.”

“Ryan, you mean?” Gavin asks.

Michael nods and grabs his sword, “but those are trivial matters. An innocent man is about to die and we can't let that happen. Can you get us to the camp?”

“Yes, I can,” Gavin puts his hand on Michael’s shoulder. “It's good to have you back.”

“It's good to be back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's officially all for my update this time <3 we are slowly inching towards the end, cries! But anything can happen, gasp! How is your story going to end? Find out in the next installment ;) 
> 
> (And sorry again that these chapters aren't really that long ;; I would've lengthen them but I wanted them out into the world so you guys know I'm still alive, aha!)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work in progress so any suggestions/requests plot-wise are welcome!


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